Anger is a normal emotion that exists within us. It is generally known what anger means in life in humans and animals. It is especially evident and more destructive in threats to existence. Anger can be defined as the aggressive response, anger, rage or anger shown in the face of frustration, hurt or intimidation. The severity of the outburst of anger also varies according to the severity of the events encountered or the anxiety it creates in us.
The general causes of anger can be listed as follows:
1-Individual inadequacies or failures on the way to the desired goal,
2-Social disappointments,
3-In the face of injustices that the person is exposed to, anger may arise naturally. Yes, the emergence of anger is not a problem, but why anger or how we express anger can be an important problem. And in fact, anger, like all our emotions, is a useful emotion when expressed correctly.
For example; A mother can frown at a child’s misbehavior and, if she doesn’t see her face, send an audible signal to make the child stop the behavior. However, if the child continues to do the same behavior after a while despite receiving this signal, the level of anger may increase and turn into anger when the mother cannot recover the situation with the same action, this time because her authority is shaken.
At this point, it would not be the right behavior for the mother to reflect this feeling to the child violently and to turn it into physical contact. Because this behavior may be a situation that the child can easily learn and apply to others.
So why don’t we all be aggressive or do harm when we get angry and some of us do? While the anger experienced by the person is an emotion, aggression, destructiveness and violence are a behavior. And according to people, the expression of anger will appear in different ways. A person filled with anger can be aggressive, destructive, or extremely quiet, introverted and broken.
If the way we express it when we get angry is very destructive and we have regrets afterwards, we have a problem. Some people may argue that what they did was right when they were angry, and putting up with the consequences may anger them even more. At the same time, if we show a passive-aggressive attitude to the events that arouse anger in us, if we then display more tense or revenge-oriented attitudes instead of confronting this situation or person, if we create a sarcastic and humiliating style, we still have a problem. It can lead to the formation of disordered personality traits.
While anger is a natural emotion, how it is shown out is a problem. They may be nervous, angry and restless. Therefore, they are held responsible for reasons such as family attitudes, social environment, genetic characteristics, psychiatric problems in the family, physiological reasons, physical and cognitive disabilities.
In anger control, it is a priority to identify the things that cause anger first. In other words, the factors determined before the behavior is the 1st step.
Behavior support that focuses on the behavior that emerges in the 2nd step and the consequences of the behavior in the 3rd step can be beneficial in anger control.
In the first step, the environment in which the behavior occurs, the events, the situations that trigger or increase the situation should be reviewed. It is necessary to stay away from the environments that cause the expression of anger as aggression and destructiveness or to determine the ways to move away. And strengthening relationships with more appropriate role models will be supportive.
For example, it would be appropriate to steer away from aggressive games, to direct them to more creative actions, and to support the behavior of role models who have aggressive behavior at home.
Desensitization studies against the exposed event are very useful. In addition to these, many ways should be used together, such as improving the right communication ways, the ability to use the right language, teaching one’s self-suggestion, and supporting the situation with various calming exercises.
The 2nd step, the behavior that occurs, in order to change this behavior, it is necessary to work on the negative consequences that occur directly, that is, through the 3rd step.
When a person cannot control anger, the consequences of his/her behavior should be discussed one by one. And ultimately he should be taught that he is responsible for these behaviors. It is an important teaching to try to extinguish the behavior with positive reinforcements gradually, to give some restrictions after the behavior, that is, to teach the behavior to pay the price.
Before the behavior occurs, stop-think-do exercises, breathing and muscle exercises should be taught one-on-one. And it should be explained to the person that this situation is under his control, that he can control it if he spares enough time.
In this behavior training process, the individual can increase motivation by rewarding himself or the family child in various ways, depending on the success situation.
Only if these rewards are presented not in the form of bribes, but in the form of rewards for their efforts, they are useful factors. Yes, ANGRY is a normal emotion, but it is a situation that needs to be controlled when it negatively affects social and family life with excessive and destructive behaviors. Because the consequences of these behaviors can negatively affect the person’s family, social, school or work life and cause negative effects on personality development, psychological and physiological structure.
