How should you punish your child?

PENALTY
The place of punishment in child psychology and the form it should be should be understood by parents in the most correct way. Because, giving a good education to their children and preparing them well for life are the main goals of all parents.
The term punishment is a technical name given to the application of a negative aversive stimulus after a behavior is performed.
Punishment is one of the techniques of suppressing unwanted behaviors. It does not add anything to the behavioral vocabulary, but it can provide suppression of a behavior in the behavioral vocabulary.
Punishment in this sense teaches not to learn a new behavior, but not to do an undesirable behavior.
Penalty is applied in two ways.
• The behavior is concluded with a repulsive stimulus (such as a slap)
This punishment can be used as a last resort when other methods have not worked. This method can be used when the child bites, hits or hits other children, or similar situations. Once the child is warned, if he continues the same behavior, he is told to go to a predetermined room or a corner of the room and wait there in silence for a while, usually in a chair. If he refuses to go there, he is taken there by being embraced and made to stay there for a while. The reason why this punishment was given should be explained to him in a few sentences. The room or place where the child is kept should not contain any danger for the child.
Child’s waiting time is roughly determined as 1 minute for each age (For example, 4 minutes for a 4-year-old child). If the punishment is too long, the child will soon forget why he was put there.
The clock is set for the punishment period, and when the clock rings, the child is told that his sentence is over. If the child completes this period nicely, they will be hugged lovingly and said, “Honey, you had to stay there because you were grounded.” Such words are said and the event ends there. If it is necessary to discuss this situation with the child, it should be waited for at least a few minutes. If the child yells and protests again during the penalty period, the clock is set again and the time is restarted. With this method, the child will learn to adapt, usually within 2 weeks.
• Behavior results in the removal of the reward (like a curfew..)
It may not always be possible to draw a logical conclusion. If the child insists on not listening to the parent, the child can be told that something else they want most will be restricted. However, some points should be considered while applying this method: Things that the child really needs, such as nutrition, should not be restricted. For this method to be effective, the restriction must be something the child really wants.
Parent should really do what he says. For example, if the child was told that he could not eat ice cream unless he corrected his behavior, but if there was no positive development, if the mother or father bought ice cream a little later to please him, this method will naturally not work.
However, there are important drawbacks to controlling behavior with punishment.
• Punishment often necessitates the use of repulsive stimuli (such as beating, insulting, banning).
For example, one of the most common mistakes is this: if the mother or father, who wants to control a certain behavior of the child, uses violent repulsive stimuli such as beating or shouting, it is seen that the child gets used to these stimuli over time, even if they were effective in the beginning. And parents get into a vicious cycle of increasing the dose.
• Behaviors that are punished are learned behaviors that provide certain results to the individual.
• While trying to suppress a behavior with punishment, another unwanted behavior may occur.
For example, if we punish our child for renting the vase that we love so much, we can gain our child the behavior of lying with this behavior. The child will lie to avoid punishment.
• When punishment is effective, the punisher’s behavior can become rewarding. The natural consequence of this is that the punisher may, over time, concentrate only on the suppression of undesirable behaviors, instead of focusing his attention on acquiring desired behaviors.
For example…a teacher may be caught in the negative aspect of punishment and spend most of his time inflicting and applying punishments rather than instilling desired behaviors in students.
THEREFORE, PENALTY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED AS A SYSTEM THAT CAN BE USED AFTER ALL AVAILABLE OPPORTUNITIES HAVE BEEN TRIED FIRST.
When it comes to discipline, many people immediately think of punishment. Proverbs such as “Beating is out of heaven” or “He who does not beat his daughter beats his knee” has taken its place in our language as proof that punishment has been used as a part of children’s education for centuries in our country. Disciplining and punishing are two very different concepts. Discipline is a system in which the child is taught about positive behaviors, how to control himself, and includes rewards. Punishment carries a more negative meaning; It is the result of a behavior that the child does or does not do. It would be more appropriate to use the term “educate”, as “to discipline” often connotes punishment in our traditions. The child should be educated about his behavior not only when he makes mistakes, but also at other times. Instead of getting angry and scolding children when they misbehave, encouraging and appreciating them when they behave positively will make it easier for them to change their wrong behavior. As children see that they are valued, they will feel better and try to listen more to those around them