Children often start to use the expression “I’m offended”, especially between the ages of 2-4. When their wishes are not fulfilled and you do not play games with them, they show their reactions by using expressions such as “I’m offended mom” or “Daddy I’m offended by you”.
Usually, parents try to discourage their children from this behavior by saying, “If you get offended, I’m offended, too.”
What does a child think and feel when his parents are offended by him?
So, I can get offended when I don’t like it, look, my parents are also offended, then it is the right behavior to be offended.
My friend at school, Ahmet, is also angry with me, my parents are also getting angry with me. Then my mom and dad are actually like my friend. So I don’t have to do everything they say.
When I go home, at school, or as a guest, I can get offended when I encounter a situation that I don’t like. This is a method that works.
In order not to cause these, parents should not be offended by their child. Instead of being offended, he should try to understand the current feelings of the child, and even dub him.
“I think you are angry with something, if you get angry, I don’t know what makes you angry, do you want to talk to me” would be healthier.
If the child still continues to be offended despite this approach, it can be said, “I think you don’t want to talk right now, when he wants to talk, I’m ready, we can talk”.
During these conversations, it is very important to get down to the child’s eye level and to establish eye contact with them. The child should feel safe, not under pressure.
After a while, if the child approaches the parents and wants to talk, a positive expression such as “I’m listening to you, let’s talk” should be used instead of a negative expression such as “You were offended with us, don’t talk to us then”.
During this conversation, the child should be given the opportunity to express their feelings instead of giving advice about how wrong it is to be offended.
