Starting school is one of the important turning points in a child’s life. School requires the child to have reached a certain level of mental, social and emotional maturity. The child, who is in the pre-school and primary school initiation period, leaves the family he is used to and feels safe and steps into the first social environment. Some children may feel joy and excitement with this new experience in their life, while others may feel stressed.
We can list the factors that affect the child’s starting school process as follows; the child’s innate personality traits, experiences, the infrastructure of the school, teachers, the approach that the child sees from the family and the understanding of education. In this period, the support that parents will provide together with the school will help children overcome their fears and anxieties.
How can I tell if my child has adjustment problems?
Reactions such as general unhappiness, loss of interest and energy, unreasonable crying, nausea, loss of appetite, headache and stomachache, vomiting, insomnia, bedwetting, not wanting to leave the family and constantly asking when to come can be observed in children with adjustment problems.
Advice to Families
The adaptation process includes a new experience not only for the child but also within the family. First of all, it is important for parents to be emotionally ready. Families should remind themselves that the process is natural. If the child states that he does not want to go to school with any complaint, he should rest without judgment and criticism. Children may not want to go to school for many reasons, because they feel alone in this process, they think they will always stay at school, they spend a good time at home with their brother’s mother and they think that they are deprived, because they are afraid of expressing themselves at school and for many reasons. It will definitely take time for the child to adapt to this new environment with his/her expectations, feelings and thoughts. In this process, one should be patient and talk about the child’s concerns about the school. Arousing curiosity in your child about the school will attract his attention. You can ask your child’s school-related questions along with the school visit. You can visit the school you have chosen with your child and meet his/her teacher. Creating a short farewell ritual with children will make them feel safe knowing what to do and when. Like a special hug, kiss, word. It is also important to spend quality time together after school in the first days of school. When asking questions about the school, one should not be inquisitive.’ How was your day?’ instead of ‘What surprised you today?’ ‘What made you laugh the most today?’ Asking questions such as these will allow the child to take a look at his/her day. Getting the child’s opinion in shopping for school will increase his motivation and interest. There are many storybooks about starting school. Reading these books with your child will support your child in the adaptation process. Knowing that many children experience emotions such as anxiety and excitement about school will normalize the process. The duration of the child’s stay at school should be increased gradually, and it will be healthy for the family to step away from the school step by step. It is important to be clear to children about school times, to tell them about details such as how long they will stay, when they will eat, when school will end, who will pick them up, and to be dropped off and picked up on time from school. The fact that the parents are late can cause the child to feel forgotten and worthless. Parents need to be consistent with children’s crying. Because she cried, ‘It’s okay to go to school today.’ It will create a feeling that I can achieve what I want by crying in the child. Instead of ‘I understand you and I’m with you. ‘ will build trust in the child. If the parent has concerns about the school and the teacher, telling them in front of the child will affect the child negatively. Make your child feel that you trust the school and teachers as parents. If children have difficulty saying goodbye to certain people, getting help from other family members can be effective. If you observe that your child is experiencing anxiety and fear about going to school, do not ignore it. Try to find out what exactly is making him unhappy. If you can do anything about it, say you will do your best. In this process, comforting and supporting the child is the primary approach. Finally, children adapt to new conditions more easily than adults. It will be the biggest help for your child to trust you and to feel you by his side so that he can overcome the difficulties he may experience. If the problems are experienced intensely or cannot be overcome, support from a specialist should be sought.
