Based on the definitions of ‘child’ that appear in the minds of adults with the forcing/direction of many different variables, the question ‘What do we want the child to do for us’ takes priority rather than their ‘What kind of child do we want’.
Children are accepted as beings both shaped by the society they live in and shaping the society they live in.
The family is the place where the first steps of the socialization of the child are taken. Relationships within the family determine their self-esteem, self-esteem and accordingly their place in society.
Parents have different styles of raising children. Parental style plays an important role in the development of the child’s social skills, school success, psycho-social development and behavioral problems.
OPPRESSIVE SOLID ATTITUDE
We see that parents, who set out with an effort to make the child a small adult in accordance with the patterns they live in, behave in this manner.
The eyes of the parents are always on these children. They constantly look for faults in their behavior, sitting, standing, speaking, laughing, eating and drinking.
Have high expectations from the child but insensitive to the child’s needs
Gives importance to obedience, intolerant of questioning the rules
Experiences inconsistency in following own rules
Often the reasons for rules are unknown, rules are not for questioning but for obeying.
Only the desire to escape punishment is an obstacle to wrongdoing.
TOLERANT PARENT
Responsive to the child’s demands and needs
Weak in setting boundaries and expectations from the child
The child is not expected to mature, and his mistakes are not confronted.
IrRelevant Parent
Children with such parents are the most unsuccessful in every field.
They often show behavior problems
Their social adaptation and school success are low
This approach makes the child feel that he is never good enough. For example, criticizing the behaviors expected by the child’s age and punishing him for his inadequacy, comparing him with the children who are more advanced than him, pushing him into a competitive environment and defining him as ‘incompetent and incompetent’…
EXPLANATORY AUTHORITARIAN PARENT
Boundaries and rules are set.
Expectations from the child are clear.
The parent is sensitive to the child.
The child knows what is expected of him, the rules and reasons, and is also aware that the parent follows his own needs and cares about his ideas.
The child’s opinion is taken when making decisions.
Child’s boundaries are respected
It is ensured that positive behavior is appreciated and rewarded rather than punishments.
Such parents give importance to their children to be able to express themselves, be socially responsible, stand on their own feet, and be cooperative.
Children with descriptive authoritarian parents have a kind of internal mechanism that regulates their emotions and behaviors by internalizing them because they know the reasons and the rules are not randomly set.
It doesn’t get to the point of infuriating that the parent is clear in setting boundaries for the child.
It constitutes a balanced model for the child.
Because it is sensitive to the child, expectations and obligations are realistic and compatible with the child’s age, abilities and developmental level.
The child has positive feelings about himself and his self-confidence rises.
They socialize, are at peace with themselves, are compatible with school and working life.
BEING AN EFFECTIVE PARENT
Being an active parent means having a style in which the emotional needs of the child (love, appreciation, attention, closeness) are recognized and met, the rules are clear with mutual expectations, and the healthy continuation of communication is ensured. An active parent is successful in taking care of the child and making them listen. The relationship with the child is not based on pressure and fear, but on mutual trust and closeness.
