“A detached house by the sea, a few cats and dogs, my loved ones with me, phone-internet nothing.
Isn’t that all we want?
Unless you change the way you deal with stressful situations, your thoughts and evaluations, it is possible that you will experience intense stress even in the house of your dreams. In other words, if you have distorted patterns in evaluating the situations that challenge you in the ordinary course of your current life, the slightest difficulty can become a stress factor for you in the house of your dreams.
Also, the main task of stress is to keep us alive. In situations where our life is in danger, the physiological state it creates in the body fights to protect us.
At the same time, when we encounter any situation that forces us, it allows us to find solutions for that situation. In other words, being under stress also improves our problem-solving skills.
So what’s the difference between this life we imagine and your current life?
Relationships.
We don’t associate with anyone except people we love and trust. No one can harm us, I do not communicate with anyone unless I want to. That is, no one can trigger my sensitive, sensitive feelings (anxiety, inadequacy, worthlessness, rejection, failure).
So we want to go to that house as an escape from our feelings. We think that if I go to that house, all the emotions we feel will stay where we left off. Unfortunately we are wrong. As long as you don’t get to the bottom of that emotion, open that page and read it again, that emotion will do its best to be seen, and it will always look for an opportunity.
That is, Stress is not an event or an object. In a way, stress is the emotions that your thoughts about the object arouse in you. For example, why should a cat be a source of stress? A cat is a cat 🙂 When you see a cat, you get stressed, it’s about you, it has nothing to do with the cat. If the cat was a source of stress in general, everyone would be afraid of the cat.
So instead of dreaming of a place free from nervous stress, we need to try to find the thoughts that run through our minds in stressful situations in our life and replace them with something more reasonable and realistic.
