The image of a child who always cries and hits the ground when they don’t get what they want is in every parent’s memory. So is it normal for kids to have such high reactions? How should parents treat their children during a tantrum? Is an anger-free connection with the child possible? Child Development and Mother Child Author Deniz Temur, known in social media as obenimannem, talked about the ways of analysis for parents who have difficulties in dealing with their children’s anger.
Stating that anger attacks start during the transition from wordless connection to verbal connection in early childhood and that they are a part of the normal development process in children who cannot express themselves fully with words, Deniz Temur , underlined that parents should be calm and patient in these residences. Temur said that anger control should gradually decrease with the strengthening of verbal communication at the age of 4 and later, and said, “Even if your child has developed the skills of establishing verbal communication, if he always chooses the way of tantrums, crying fits and stubbornness, parents should first question their family life and draw their communication channels with the child to true frequencies.” .
WHY DO CHILDREN ANGRY?
Temur continued:
“The most common cause of anger-based connection in children is the experiences they learn from the adults around them who connect in this way. If one or more people in the family reveal their feelings and intentions through anger. If the child assimilates this model and starts to contact the same way, the second biggest reason is that parents prefer very hard or loose behaviors when children have difficulty in anger control. If the child is shouted, punished or sanctioned because of anger, the child strengthens his anger instead of controlling it. “If the child’s wishes are quickly made by the parents just so that the child’s anger will subside, anger turns into a way that children use to reach their wishes. Apart from this, reasons such as the changing life system, parental indifference, sibling jealousy can also cause anger in children.”
WHAT SHOULD MOTHERS AND FATHERS DO?
“Anger is actually the expression of children’s feelings,” said Temur, and offered parents, “First, start by finding the reason for your child’s anger.” He then said:
– Understand the child’s feelings that cause anger. Let her know that you understand her feelings, but that you can help her if she explains her feelings with words or drawings.
– Do not wait for crisis moments with the province to understand your child’s feelings. Talk about the things that make him angry, sad and happy during the day. During these conversations, pay attention to what he is saying and focus on his feelings without question.
