We seem to have taken for granted that we live thousands of lies every day, that lying has become an ordinary and ordinary part of daily life. Even when you have an ordinary conversation with a person, you can realize that that person is lying to you by looking into your eyes, and you can become a partner in that lie as if you did not understand. The seller on the street, your friends at work or even your spouse at home can lie to you from time to time. How can they lie so easily and deceive us while watching commercials on TV and listening to commercials? We always experience the feeling of how they are brainwashing everyone. When it comes to politicians, the lies told are enough to drive people crazy and they are even increasing. So is there anything you can do? A big nothing.
As a result of all this, the feeling we experience as a society is a basic feeling of distrust towards everyone, everything, what is lived and said. If the basic trust feelings of an individual or a society are shaken, then the development of an environment of chaos and the interpretation of everything as a threat will bring an end to the expectations.
So what’s the point of lying when it comes to children?
In a time when lies are so ingrained, many sensitive parents want their children to stay true to the truth from a very early age. While conveying the events of a three-year-old child and the situation he is in, they expect it to be in complete reality. Maybe they take action with the instinct to protect their children from their adult life, where fraud and rottenness have become a habit, and get caught up in the rush to take precautionary measures.
In what situation will we decide whether the child is really lying? Does the size of the lie change according to the age periods?
Preschool children’s making up unbelievable stories, liking imitation games, making exaggerated expressions, having imaginary friends are the personality traits of that period, which should not be described as lying. Imitation games and story making, which are considered as mental activation to develop the child’s imagination, should never be prevented, but encouraged. The dimensions of the child’s creativity during the school period develop and mature with these exercises.
Fidelity is a phenomenon that develops in the child. It is wrong to insist that the child remain true to the truth and to attempt to prove to the child that he is lying. If the child tells an obvious lie, do not immediately panic. If a four or five-year-old child has lied for any purpose other than his tendency to exaggerate his experience, unless it’s a figment of imagination or a joke, then the parent’s attitude is very important. When a mother or father encounters such a situation, it is appropriate to calmly confront the child and speak in a language that he or she can understand. For example, “asking him when to believe him” should say that if he can’t distinguish between truth and falsehood, he won’t know when to believe it or not. Harsh punishments, accusations, and humiliating behaviors may be behaviors that push the child to lie rather than distracting them from lying.
We must be patient, calm, know what a lie means and for what purpose it is said, and we must be able to adjust our reactions accordingly.
