The mind is such a magnificent structure that it experiences the emotion it imagines and even the body shows psychosomatic symptoms afterwards. For example, you read a book, let’s say it is an adventure book, every character, every event comes to life in your eyes. You get excited, your heart beats quicken. Sometimes your whole body is on fire. However, the only thing in front of your eyes is the letters. So how did your body temperature rise just by looking at the collection of letters? Because the mind imagined and the body responded to this imagined emotion just as if it had been experienced. In other words, when we can put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and look at the situation from his/her point of view, it means that we will have the same affect as him/her. Accompanying the feelings of the other person is the most important step of communicating with him. Because we all want to be with people who understand us. We don’t even want to talk when we think we won’t be understood. Many branches of art are born in order to be understood and to make our feelings visible. Everyone wants to reflect their feelings with their own perspective and talent. Mevlânâ has a very important word on this subject.’ No matter how much you know, what you tell is as much as the other person understands.’ Therefore, understanding requires an active process. In order to understand a person, it is necessary to know that everyone looks from a different window.
What does empathy give us?
First of all, it is a great gain in terms of developing different perspectives, making sense of life and developing our own mental world.
We also have to empathize in order to reach the horizon that is explained to us in the hadith, ‘A person cannot be considered a true believer unless he wants for his believing brother what he wants for himself.’ Let’s think about what we want for ourselves from the perspective of others. Or it prevents us from doing to others what we do not want for ourselves.
Judging and criticizing in communication is one of the biggest obstacles to understanding each other. When we approach with empathy, we can avoid intense judgments and criticisms towards each other.
By looking at the event from his perspective, we can understand him, whether we find him right or not. This keeps us from acting hurtful and destructive.
Empathetic thinking enables us to find a middle ground and develop new behavioral patterns.
It avoids misunderstandings.
In fact, not only understanding but also showing it as behavior is a dimension of empathy. It is not necessary to understand the water need of a flower with faded leaves, but only to water that flower.
What happens when someone empathizes with us? We feel understood and cared for. We experience a feeling of relief. Sometimes, even if the problem is not resolved, we feel that we are healed when there is someone who is not judged, just trying to understand our feelings without criticism.
Hoping to spread empathic communication to the society….
