Marriage is one of the most important institutions in our society, as it is all over the world. It is an ideal goal for the spouses to continue this union they have established. However, the emergence of some negative situations may make it necessary to break the institution of marriage. The termination of the marriage contract is called “divorce” in legal terms. Spiritually, it is the beginning of a complex situation that shakes family members for separated spouses and children. Managing this new beginning, divorce is a process that requires as much effort and care as marriage. With divorce, the role of spouse, not the role of parents, ends. The process of becoming a mother and father still continues.
So, how should this process be explained to the child and how should the child be treated?
- When the parents decide to divorce, they should first talk among themselves about how to explain this situation to the child. After the conversation is decided, parents should explain to the child what divorce means in a clear and simple way that the child can understand. Be open and honest with the child. Avoid going into unnecessary details.
- It should be explained to the child that the child has no influence on the decision to leave, and that the decision was made by them, without blaming each other.
- It should be stated to the child that the role of mother and father continues. It should be noted that even after the divorce, the parents still love their child or children. If you are unable to properly establish the role and communication between you as a parent, seek help from a mental health professional or a mediator.
- After the divorce, the child’s new life and order should be explained. It should be ensured that the child has constant and regular contact with his parents.
- Children should be allowed to express their feelings. Trying to suppress the child’s feelings, vilifying the mother or father, forcing the child to sideways will greatly harm the child.
- Expecting the child to find a solution and trying to get strength from him will create a heavy burden on the child. For this, it will be healthy to talk to your family or relatives and get professional support.
DIVORCE AND CHILD PSYCHOLOGY
Divorce is not an event that begins and ends with the legal process, but the beginning of a new life for family members. Before and after divorce; It covers a long process that includes emotions such as anxiety, stress and sadness. This process will be difficult for both parents and children. Although parents think that they have solved this difficult process among themselves and that it does not affect the child, children are affected by this situation mentally.
in child;
- Extreme Emotional Reactions
- Self Blame
- Introversion
- Problems With School
- Do not lie
- Soaking
- Thumb Sucking
- Distractibility
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Offensive Behaviors
- Sleeping disorders
- Eating disorders
- Smoking, Alcohol, Drug Abuse
- Physical Disorders of Psychological Origin
may arise. If the child’s reaction to the situation exceeds the normal limits and the mental problems we have mentioned occur, getting support from mental health professionals will be beneficial for both the separated parents and the children. A peaceful child is the work of a peaceful parent. Never neglect yourself.
With love….
