Divorce

DIVORCE AND CHILDREN

Divorce potentially brings with it a series of changes that will seriously affect the development of children, and in this sense, it is defined as a trauma for the child. This trauma is experienced as a kind of loss-mourning reaction. The child may feel that he has left home or lost his parent with whom he cannot live. A new anxiety brought about by this feeling and thought is the fear that he will lose his other parent. These dynamics may lead to different psychological reactions in children and adolescents according to different ages. On the other hand, a child who grows up in an uneasy environment with serious disagreements and fights may also be exposed to traumatic effects.

I don’t want a divorce!

Before and during the divorce, the biggest fight is over the child. In this intense tension, the child finds himself in the middle of his parents’ conflict. As if this is not enough, parents force the child to take sides around the nightmare of losing the child or the fear of being right. This is the hardest thing for a child. Because the child depends on both mother and father and loves both. As if forcing the child to take sides is not enough, they continue their problems through the child after the divorce. One and both spouses try to justify by vilifying each other. One parent tries to punish or take revenge by not showing the child to the other parent. Here, they overlook that the person who suffers the real harm is the child. Some fathers may not see the child for months after breaking up with their spouse. Another group of fathers does not break ties with the child and break the relationship. These parents do whatever the child says in order to attract the child to their side.

One of the most difficult issues for families to explain to a child is to explain their decision to divorce. Since this decision taken by the parents for their own lives can have a very important effect on the lives of the children, it is of great dedication and responsibility to manage this process in the best way possible. So, is it good to talk about this difficult issue with children? Or is it necessary to pass it on implicitly because the young person does not understand anyway? The key point in talking about divorce with children is to develop methods according to the child’s developmental level and age, taking into account their point of view. Especially younger children may have difficulties in understanding what exactly happens during the divorce process, why the divorce happened, who it will affect and how they feel. They look at events from their own perspective and see themselves at the center of events.

POSSIBLE REACTIONS DURING AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CRISIS, THE EFFECTS OF FAMILY DIVORCE ON CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS AND WHAT THE SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELOR CAN DO ABOUT IT

What should we do to ensure that our children do not wear out after the divorce and adapt to this process with the least damage? Conflicts between the family before the divorce negatively affect the mental health of the child. In terms of the healthy development of the child, being separated from the mother and father is not a positive situation. But if the decision to divorce is unavoidable, the parents’ greatest effort should be to minimize the damage to their children.

While divorce rates are increasing day by day in Turkey, according to researches, neither financial concerns nor infidelity take the first place among the reasons for divorce.

Marriage is one of the most important institutions in our society, as it is all over the world. It is an ideal goal for the spouses to continue …