Scientific researches always reveal the same result; Having a healthy relationship makes a positive contribution to many areas of our lives, especially our physical and psychological health. Specialist Clinical Psychologist Ece Koç from Acıbadem Maslak Hospital “Healthy relationship; These are the associations carried out by people who are connected to each other with love, respect and trust, share life in common, have equal rights and responsibilities, and give each other private spaces. The relationships we will call unhealthy are; They are relationships that are experienced according to the rules and impositions of one of the couples, trying to change the other, where power wars are frequently brought to the fore, fights and arguments are experienced very intensely. He says that this process causes a feeling of severe boredom and boredom in some relationships, and that relationships become unhealthy and lead to separation. Specialist Clinical Psychologist Ece Koç made 10 golden suggestions for a healthy relationship, in a statement she made within the scope of February 14 Valentine’s Day; She talked about the 7 benefits of a healthy relationship.
Discuss at the right time, in the right style
You may be surprised, disappointed, scared or even angry at your partner’s behavior. Not to mention the feeling that you are not loved. Do not remain silent against the behaviors that have a damaging effect on your feelings, do not accumulate your feelings by putting them inside; Be sure to discuss this with your partner. However, make sure that it is the ‘right time’ to talk about your problems, not when you are tense, restless or busy. Choose your words carefully; Express it in the right way.
Talk about problems using ‘I’ language
When voicing problems, make sure that your tone is free from irritability and aggression. Use ‘I’ language when expressing the negative impact your partner’s behavior has had on you. For example; Like ‘what you did made me feel worthless’, ‘I felt unloved’. You will feel the constructive effect of a correct communication technique on your relationship.
Criticize his behavior, not his personality
When discussing problems, criticize your partner’s behavior, not his personality. Express the behaviors you want him to change by avoiding insulting, hostile approach, trying to stay calm in a way that will enable him to empathize. Accept some of your spouse’s/partner’s behaviors as they are, don’t try to change them, as it will hurt people to be constantly criticized and not accepted as they are.
Respect your individual spaces, do not impose bans
Every healthy relationship needs individual spaces. Being together in every activity like ‘conjoined twins’ and acting in each other’s shadow causes a feeling of boredom and boredom after a while in relationships. Therefore, learn to live as one under the same roof, but without interfering with your and your partner’s individual freedom, hobbies and interests; accept your differences.
Listen to understand, not to answer
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Ece Koç says, “Avoid judging each other during an argument. Listen to the other person and try to understand him. Listen to understand, not to respond. One of the biggest mistakes made in relationships; It is to think about the answers we will give to his words, instead of listening to him while expressing his feelings and thoughts. By listening carefully to the criticism of the other person, you will gain important clues to affect your relationship in a constructive way.” says.
Share responsibilities and dreams
Since the responsibilities in the relationship always belong to one person, it will cause that person to be exhausted over time, unhappy and unable to enjoy life; Sharing responsibilities is among the indispensable conditions in healthy relationships. Take care to share your dreams as well as responsibilities; Share dreams. Beautiful thoughts and shared dreams will play a constructive role in your relationship.
Have a social life
Take care to have a social life outside of your relationship, provided that you are honest and not lying to each other. It is seen that especially in relationships, the social life is dominant among men, while women devote themselves to their homes, spouses and children, and this causes many subconscious problems to accumulate over time. Take time for your personal hobbies and social circle, get together with your loved ones, friends and family members only by yourself. Due to the pandemic process, make sure to make these meetings even online and take time for your hobbies.
Create new and collaborative experiences
We were thoroughly overwhelmed during the pandemic process and we stayed away from social events and closed down at home. Turn this process into an opportunity and gain new and shared experiences while creating pursuits that support each other’s interests. For example; not only your favorite movie genres, but also share in movies that your partner likes, sing along to the music he likes, sing together, make your breakfast table special on weekends, talk about beautiful and smiley events instead of problems.
Don’t ‘release’ yourself just because I’m at home
One of the biggest mistakes made in relationships is that the person ignores his partner because he is at home, does not take the necessary care of himself, and almost ‘relaxes’ himself instead of being well-groomed. However, take a shower as if you are going out every day, tidy yourself up and be well-groomed in front of your partner. While following a healthy and sustainable diet in order not to gain weight and to get rid of any excess weight, take care to walk briskly for an hour at least three days a week.
Don’t shuffle past notebooks for every problem
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Ece Koç says, “Avoid bringing up the problems you have discussed and resolved, or your partner’s behavior that has upset you in the past, in every discussion. Focus on the present, not the past, and if you want ‘her’ to be in your future, take a constructive approach rather than a destructive one. Avoid disrespectful and hurtful accusations in heated discussions.” she says.
7 health benefits of a healthy relationship
- It increases life satisfaction, allows to see the pleasant and happy aspects of life.
- It increases the power to cope with stress, makes it more challenging in the face of difficulties.
- It reduces the rates of anxiety, anxiety and depression.
- It increases success in business life because people with healthy relationships can devote all their energies to their work because their minds are not preoccupied with problems.
- It reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke.
- Increases self-confidence; Having a partner who is securely attached to someone, approved and who will be there for you in any situation makes us more confident.
- It strengthens our immune system. The negativities experienced cause our cortisol (stress hormone) level, which is related to our immune system, to increase, which causes our immunity to decrease. However, having a healthy relationship contributes to increasing our body resistance and strengthening our immunity.
Source: (BHA) – Beyaz News Agency
