An earthquake, like other natural disasters, can cause various fears even in children who do not directly experience the earthquake. Sometimes these fears of real events can be more difficult to deal with than some imaginary fears, such as the fear of monsters or ghosts, which are common in children.
So, how to explain the earthquake to children?
Just like death and other natural disasters, the explanation to the child about the earthquake should be appropriate for the child’s age and developmental level.
In the preschool period:
Children in this age group ask you a lot of “why?” can ask the question. Be prepared for this and try to give as simple answers as possible. For example, you can make a simple statement such as “buildings had a hard time standing because the ground was shaking so fast”. However, these children may not often ask very specific questions about earthquakes, but when you listen carefully, you may realize that what they want to hear from their parents is the answer to the question of whether they are safe or not. Such a disaster can undermine a preschooler’s need to see the world as a safe and predictable place, while undermining the confidence of the adults around him in his abilities. For this reason, they may experience anxiety and fear that the same disaster will happen to them and their families. At this point, you will have to repeat to him often that he and you are safe and that everything is fine. Telling him not to worry or be afraid in the meantime won’t work, because those words won’t stop him from feeling this way. Instead, you can make her feel that you understand and accept her feelings by telling her, “All this may have scared and worried you, but we as your mom and dad are there for you and will be ready to protect you in case of danger.” They may be especially worried about their relatives who are not with them because they may not realize that they are far from the crime scene. For this reason, you can say that these people are also safe and call them by phone if necessary.
In this period, since the concepts of continuity and permanence are not fully established, they may think that deaths or destroyed buildings can be returned again. Therefore, do not be surprised if your child in this age group frequently asks you questions about the subject.
Children of this age may react very differently in such a situation. These children’s anxiety manifests itself in more non-verbal ways, such as play, sleep, or changes in eating routines. It’s important to be alert to your child’s nonverbal signs of anxiety and to respond to their anxiety in nonverbal ways such as hugs and hugs. For younger children whose verbal expression is still limited, you can name some emotions and give them space to express their own feelings by not preventing them when they play with fear themes.
If they have not been exposed to the earthquake or news and images about the earthquake, they may not react at all, and in such a case, they may be more affected by the reactions of their parents. In fact, children are much more resilient than we all imagine. The important thing is that you can trust yourself that you can help your child’s anxieties and fears and make him/her feel safe with you. The way to do this is to become aware of your own feelings and control your own anxieties and fears.
If you are very sure that your child has not heard much about the earthquake and therefore is not very affected, then do not be too insistent on opening up and detailing the subject. Sometimes it is preferable for preschoolers to be unaware of such frightening news.
At school age:
Children in this age group become more open to information as they are more out of the house due to school and similar activities. Unlike preschool children, although the concepts of continuity and continuity are well-established in children in this age group and they now know that death is a permanent situation, they are worried that even a disaster that happens far from them can happen to them very soon, and they have difficulty in controlling this anxiety.
You can start the conversation with your school-age child from your own feelings, say that what happened is really upsetting you and wait for how he will react. Since children at this age can distinguish between reality and fantasy, you can find out what your child knows about the events and whether they talk about it with their friends or teachers at school. You can tell him about the mobility of the earth’s crust and how the earthquake emerged as a natural phenomenon without going into too much geographical detail. The important thing at this point is not to overwhelm your child with more information than he can handle. Ask if he has any other questions. Remember that as he gets older, the number of questions he asks and the amount of detail he will want to learn will increase. Try to give accurate but short and clear answers to these questions.
Since these children may have difficulty in establishing cause and effect relationships between events from time to time, the next step should be to tell them about the possible damage that an earthquake may cause to buildings, houses and people. Your child, who has been briefly informed about the earthquake and its effects, needs to feel safe. You can do this by often stating what precautions you take to ensure the safety of your own home, that his mother, father, grandparents love him, and that you will be there and ready to ensure his safety. If your child is worried about children in the earthquake area, you can comfort them by telling them that there are many adults around to help them.
At such times, children’s beliefs that adults will protect them are damaged.
Children in this age group may be angry about why adults cannot prevent such disasters and may need to blame someone. At this point, you can say to him, “We would all love to be able to do something to prevent this situation, but you can see that many people are trying to help earthquake victims and that this situation does not happen again”, and you can say that it is natural for him to feel angry and angry.
Even when everything else is going well in their lives, school-age children may cry frequently, have terrible dreams at night or complain of stomachaches, and may have difficulty concentrating on their studies. Older children and adolescents can understand the effects of the earthquake more easily, but their main need is to know why this event happened. At this point, you can tell them that it is difficult for us to predict and control some natural events, just like many events in our lives, but what kind of measures we can take to protect ourselves. At the same time, you will have the chance to explain to them the importance of solidarity and empathy.
How are children affected by images in the news?
Although we need to keep children away from the sad and frightening images of earthquakes, we sometimes fail to do so, and unfortunately children hear and see a lot about this event in which many people lost their lives. Studies show that even very young children can pick up on the emotional tone in the news. Starting from this basis, it would be quite natural for children to start to worry that the same disaster could happen to them and their families, and even to develop fears that never existed before. News containing detailed images of the effects of natural disasters may cause children to perceive the world as an unsafe and threatening place. More importantly, until the age of 7-8, that is, until the primary school age, children may begin to experience great fears that everything will happen on their own in a short time by perceiving what they see on the television screen too realistic and internalizing what they see, as they have difficulty in distinguishing between reality and fantasy.
Of course, the primary goal should be to control as much as possible such news and images that children may be exposed to on the television screen. If you are going to watch the news or programs about the earthquake, you must be with your child in order to control the content. If the content of the program is not suitable for your child’s age, you should change that program or turn off the television.
Especially in the pre-school period, such news and repetitive images can increase the anxiety of the child and at the same time make one think that a single event has occurred repeatedly. Although the images they witness do not belong to their own environment, they can establish some similarities and understand a disaster that is far from their home as if they are right next to them. In order to avoid such misunderstandings, it is important to be able to talk to children about how they understand the events.
In order to reduce the effects of the news on children, parents should share the information that the child needs and care about the earthquake accurately with the child and try to make him/her feel as safe as possible. The earthquake is unfortunately not controllable, but this should not prevent parents from opening up a space for their children to share their fears. You should encourage your child to talk openly about their fears. That’s why it’s important that you’re willing to listen to him, too.
What can you do as parents?
In this process, it is very important to keep children away from repetitive images about the earthquake on television, which can be frightening even for us adults, and to do this at a time when the children are sleeping if the news about the subject is to be watched.
For many children and adults, taking concrete action in the face of a disaster reduces anxiety. After such a natural disaster, children feel more in control and safer if they are given the opportunity to provide concrete assistance to those who have been directly exposed to the earthquake. So talk to your child about how you can help earthquake victims together. For example, you can give him an active role in donating to charities with other members of your family, pack unworn items together and send them to earthquake victims, or support him in finding out how to create a charity project by getting together with his friends. This will not only reduce anxiety but also help your child develop empathy and solidarity.
Considering that our country is in an earthquake zone, the fact that each family creates an earthquake plan of its own and that they have determined what can be done at that moment in line with this plan will give children a sense of control over this situation, albeit a little.
Children who experience another loss at the same time, such as a divorce or death, may feel more anxious about such an event and may begin to act like a younger child, cry, wake up frequently at night, or not cling to their mother, as if they were returning to earlier developmental stages in which they felt more secure. In such a situation, cuddling and hugging your child often will help him calm down.
While such a disaster causes serious losses, it also causes everyone to lose their sense of control, whether they are children or adults. Considering that children already have less control over their own lives than we adults, they need to see and feel reliable, strong adults who hold some control, especially at such times, by their side. The most important area where this control can be maintained and the sense of security can be renewed is daily routines. Therefore, at such times, your child’s existing eating, sleeping, bathing, etc. Keep up with their daily routine as much as possible.
In addition, you can try to learn about your child’s thoughts and feelings about the stories he hears, and you can talk about the solidarity between people and people’s ability to cope with difficult situations based on this incident.
