In the last century, with the industrial and technological revolution, people’s lifestyles have undergone a revolutionary change, resulting in a sociological turmoil. In European countries, this transformation started much earlier. It still continues in countries like Turkey.
Especially after the sixties and seventies, there was an influx from villages to cities. As the traditional family models in the village have changed in the city, cultural conflicts have started and still continue in the same neighborhoods between people from various places. To give an example, we see many families who do not want their child’s friend who is studying at the same school to be friends by saying “They are not like us”.
A child grows up in large groups of children in a village and neighborhood environment. He learns most of the things he needs to learn in this group. Also, families are large. The family, grandparents, uncles and cousins live together in a crowd. New parents are not alone in raising a child. In addition, the family has an old accumulated tradition of raising children. It is a safe family environment and no one worries about the future too much.
These families, who came to the city, settled in the same apartments on the condition that they continue to stay together. Conclusion; Family apartment… But now there are different people around. Gradually, these families were dissolved and there was a return to the nuclear family. In addition, children with reduced number of children are condemned to grow up alone at home.
These parents, who were raised at home alone and have no parenting experience, do not know how to raise a child. There is no longer a large group of children teaching the child his limits. In this case, the children have become spoiled children who do not know their limits. Children who do not pay the price for anything that they want constantly, started to have problems with their peers during the school period. Only introverted children increased during this period.
The concept of apartment boy emerged in this period. In old Turkish films, he is a model of a child who is fragile, unable to protect himself, and made fun of by other children who are parents’ lambs.
In order to overcome this situation, kindergartens have started to be opened. Kindergartens have been a place where children socialize a little bit. Some ambitious parents perceived these kindergartens as primary schools and tried to teach all kinds of knowledge and alienated the child from school. They are social education areas originally made for the child to socialize and play. Still, the boy got out of the apartment a little bit.
Again, when parents who work in cities do not have much time to spare for children, children who look like decorations in front of the TV and computer have emerged. Some parents have even been proud of their children’s computer game skills. But these children quickly became addicted to computers. They are alienated from class and social life. For this reason, many children have dropped out of school.
Again, the expectations of families from their children in the city have increased. It was clear what would happen to the children growing up in the village, when they would start a family, and how they would live. All would be farmers or craftsmen. Now their lifestyles and financial situations began to make a big difference among people. Families will try to educate their children in good schools to provide a well-paid future. Buddha created school pressure in children. Families almost started to compete among themselves over their children’s school success. Heavy exam conditions and family pressure created a rebellious group of children.
Families who do not realize their children’s abilities overwhelm their children with demands beyond their capacity. Therefore, it is necessary to measure the abilities of children well and to direct the family and school accordingly.
If we look at all these, what is missing in raising children in the city is parent education. Parents should get help in order to educate themselves well on this issue. In addition, in schools, children should not only care about their education, but also their social and psychological development. This will ensure that children grow up as strong psychologically healthy individuals in the future.
