Family syntax was developed by the German Psychotherapist Bert Hellinger. Family syntax therapy is based on the understanding that the family has been linked by an invisible bond for generations. In this case, a significant part, perhaps even the majority, of psychological disorders are caused by the problems experienced in the root family from which we came out. We can inherit our hair, eye color, physical characteristics, habits and diseases genetically, as well as their emotions, feelings and traumas.
From time to time, whether we are aware of it or not, we may find ourselves living the fate of our parents. Ancestors have a beautiful saying; “Grandpa eats wood, grandson’s tooth is dazzled.”
The next generation may pay for what the previous generation did. Mistakes made by ancestors can spread to children and grandchildren.
It would not be right to expect a miraculous healing from a single session to break the fateful cycle experienced.
The “Olive Tree” series, which has been frequently mentioned recently, tells exactly the family sequence. Problems in love and relationships, lack of fertility, health problems, etc. are described in the series, but it would be wrong to attribute healing only to the family sequence. The family syntax may have been exaggerated for the sake of the popularity of the series.
According to Bert Hellinger,
Suicide,
Murder,
persecution, persecution, rape, harassment,
abandonment, cheating, unwanted-involuntary, togetherness for the sake of the child,
divorce, separation,
Adoption-giving,
First loves or marriages, children from those relationships,
Situations such as births out of wedlock, miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth, congenital disabilities, etc. can cause problems in the next generation.
Let’s say the grandchild, who has no knowledge of a murder committed by his grandfather, carries the guilt that should be felt towards the victim and limits his own life, suffers from chronic depression, even commits suicide by paying for the injustice that he is not involved in with his life.
Mental illnesses, anxiety, depression, desire to kill oneself, fateful cycles, life-blocking problems, frustration, negative belief patterns and the events we experience negatively in line with these patterns can be healed with many psychotherapy methods.
So how can we heal this?
Therapy allows you to see through your therapist how your family members feel, fears and anxieties in the face of severe events.
Just seeing and noticing is not enough. You are asked to take the place of your family members and convey how they feel.
The words you use here allow you to move towards the spiritual freedom that you will create by “accepting” that solves your illness and without waiting for anyone to change: “I accept you as you are now!”
Whatever our ancestors lived, we did not live their lives, we cannot know and cannot judge. But we must graciously accept and respect their fate.
During the therapies, when you see the heavy events that underlie your father’s failure to show his love (perhaps realizing that he is an orphan) or your mother’s constant criticism, your anger towards them quickly subsides.
Feelings such as anger, coldness, hatred dissolve and you set your heart free!
Everything is changing now… Now you are living your own destiny, not theirs. You discover your own potential and produce your own solution!
