What should we do to ensure that our children do not wear out after the divorce and adapt to this process with the least damage?
Conflicts between the family before the divorce negatively affect the mental health of the child. In terms of the healthy development of the child, it is not a positive situation to be separated from the mother and father. But if the decision to divorce is unavoidable, the parents’ greatest effort should be to minimize the damage to their children.
*Depending on his age, ask your child how he feels about it. Listen carefully to what they say, do not make any comments. Make your child feel that he can say whatever comes to his mind.
* Your child will look for the reason for the divorce in himself and will feel guilty. First of all, you must convince your child that the problems you have with your spouse have nothing to do with him.
* You must make him believe that divorce is only between the mother and father, and that you will continue to be the mother and father of your child until you die.
*You should keep your child away from all divorce processes such as lawyers’ statements, property division between spouses, mother-in-law effect, your child’s living space, where he will stay. Your child should not witness any of this.
* You should be in constant contact with your child’s teacher, friends’ family, or other adult people who are in contact with your child. The biggest reason here is that you can have information about your child’s ways of coping with the divorce process, from different perspectives.
* If you observe behaviors such as activity, silence, shyness in your child outside of normal, talk to them. If you cannot communicate, take your child to a specialist.
* Never use your child as a messenger between you and your divorced spouse
* Never insult your child, your spouse and your spouse’s family. Your child should feel safe and peaceful on both sides.
*Don’t forget to share all your child’s special days –birthdays, graduation, etc.- with your divorced spouse and your spouse’s family.
