Suppose you are a parent who knows no bounds in self-sacrifice, you don’t give a shit what your child says. Of course, self-sacrifice is a virtue, but when too much self-sacrifice reaches the point of enslavement, it begins to negatively affect the child’s personality development.
From now on, he expects the same attitude not only from you but also from the whole environment, and he becomes unhappy when his expectation is not met. For example, when his friend doesn’t want to play the game he wants and his teacher puts someone else on the board, it turns into a crisis.
The parental aspect of being a slave to the child is that sacrifice is a dynamic that increases expectations. It applies to all relationships as well. You start expecting perfection because you have given up on yourself. For example, you haven’t even had a hot coffee for him.
As you do, he gets used to it, even if it doesn’t become normal for you, this situation becomes normal for him and after a while the virtue we call sacrifice becomes a duty. Then you start getting angry that it’s not my job. The relationship you start with love continues with anger and lovelessness.
Most of us actually expect our children to run to school, to love school, to do their homework when they come home, to take responsibility and to have ideals. However, we will not dwell on these expectations until the school opens.
Why am I emphasizing this? That’s why; There are many parents who feed, dress, and sleep with their hands until the school starts, in short, they do not allow their children to take responsibility.
When raising children, we actually lay the bricks on top of each other without realizing it. Giving responsibility to the child in parallel with his/her development contributes to both the child’s being a self-confident individual and the development of fine motor and cognitive skills.
Therefore, for example, if your child is 3 years old, you should have your child eat his/her own food, and have your child collect toys. By the age of 4, you must ensure that he is an individual who can mostly dress and undress by himself.
At the age of 5, you should give more functional responsibilities such as giving responsibility when preparing the dinner table, folding the clothes, preparing the bag.
If protectionist behavior is not given in this process and the opportunity is not given, we see that the child has more intense adaptation problems with the school.
