It is the basic emotional necessity for all human beings. We have “self-confidence” in proportion to our “self-worth” that we assign to ourselves.
From the first years of our lives, we create an identity for ourselves, then we add a value to this identity.
We define who we are and then decide what we like and dislike about this identity.
Here, the problem of self-confidence arises as a result of our judgment.
DEVELOPMENT OF CONFIDENCE
In the development of self-confidence, especially in the first years of childhood, maternal attitudes and upbringing are very important in the formation of the child’s feelings about himself and the degree of self-confidence.
Later, the child acquires a positive or negative self-perception in line with the reactions he receives from his environment.
If a parent is overly critical and demanding, a perfectionist, or overprotective and inhibiting independence.
The child’s feelings and judgments about himself; incapable, incompetent, and worthless.
Loving,
Finding the attention and closeness they need,
Their ideas are valued and cared for,
Trusted and given responsibility
Praised, proud for what he does well,
Correctly guided in his mistakes,
The self-confidence of the child, who is accepted with the characteristics he has, develops.
Who does not feel loved and cared for,
Not getting the closeness and attention they expect,
Constantly criticized and not accepted as it is,
The child who is constantly compared to others feels worthless and does not develop self-confidence.
These children; It causes various problems in the family, environment, school and society in which it lives.
WHEN DOES TRUST-INSECURITY OCCUR?
It is known that developmentally, the baby goes through a phase called trust or insecurity in the period until the end of 0-12 months.
Emotional and personality development is evident in the period between 1-3 years of age.
This period, which is defined as the autonomy phase, is a period in which the child can get away from the mother’s dependence, stand on his feet and try to discover everything.
During this period, if the child is constantly punished or resentful, or if he is not allowed to become independent or explore by an overprotective parent, he will feel crushed and embarrassed.
If the parents positively affect the child’s desire for self-control during these years, if they allow and are supportive, the child can gain a sense of self-confidence and autonomy.
SUGGESTIONS
Be open about your feelings for him and give importance to his feelings.
Be aware of your child’s true capacity.
Model him with your actions.
Discuss your child’s mistakes without blaming him or criticizing his whole personality.
Let your expectations of him be appropriate for his age and level.
Remember that children are different from each other and each child has a unique ability.
Give your child responsibilities that are age appropriate.
Let him know that you value and appreciate everything about him.
Let the child make simple choices and respect their choices.
