Starting school can be an exciting as well as an anxiety-provoking process for both children and their parents. In the process of starting school, children need to be emotionally ready as much as the importance of their mental and physical development. In addition to the readiness of the children, it is very important that the parents are also emotionally ready for this situation. It is seen that the ability of parents to reduce the anxiety they feel due to separation from their children and not to make the child feel these concerns plays an important role in the child’s adaptation to school process.
What can be done to prepare yourself and your child for school and to pass these days without any problems?
While getting ready for school…
You can browse the school’s brochure and website with your child. You can describe what the school is like and what’s going on in it.
You can enable the child to explore the new place and new people, namely the school, with a person with whom he or she feels safe. This makes it much easier to get used to.
If possible, you can introduce the teacher to the teacher before the school starts, and you can tour the school, classroom and school garden together. Thus, the child’s mind will form ideas about what kind of place school is, and their uncertainty will be reduced.
You can naturally express to the child that schools will start soon and will go to school soon by making tiny little reminders.
In shopping for school, getting the child’s opinion and including him in the process will increase his interest in the school.
It is also important for families to pay attention to their children’s sleep patterns in this process.
On leaving school…
It is necessary to explain all the processes in detail to the child, such as what the school is like, how long he will spend at school, what he will do, when he will eat, who will drop him off at school and who will pick him up from school.
When it is time to leave the school, it is very important to keep the goodbyes as short as possible, as long hugs, kisses, and explanations will cause the child to be emotionally triggered.
The sudden disappearance of the parent during the drop-out process and the deception of the child with the words “I will come in five minutes” can cause trauma, as well as cause him to feel insecure and increase his anxiety. For this reason, you should clearly tell the child when to go.
Being at school for a short time at the beginning and leaving school together can be a more reassuring method for children. By shortening the time you are at school over time, you can prepare your child to stay at school without you.
For children who have difficulties, it is the healthiest method for parents to step away from school step by step with the right timing.
Before leaving, you must tell the child when he will be picked up from school and who will pick it up. Knowing these, the child feels safe and can move freely at school.
The approach of “It’s okay if you don’t go to school today” because of crying gives rise to the perception that the child can get what he wants when he cries. He cannot grasp the seriousness that he has to stay at school. Therefore, take a stable, clear and determined stance when quitting.
Talking to his teacher and allowing him to take a favorite item to school relieves the child.
Reading the story books about starting school and going to school with your child will support both you and your child.
Parents’ talk of positive school memories is another method that relaxes children.
Teachers have the biggest role in adapting to school. They can put their students at ease with the sincere, warm and open communication that teachers will establish with their students and the message “I value you”.
Despite paying attention to all these, if your child still cannot get used to school and has adjustment problems, getting support from a specialist will help you manage the process in a healthier way. Because in many cases, unresolved stories from the past can be found under what appears to be school anxiety.
