Couple therapy is a method of psychotherapy for couples in emotional relationships to make their relationships more satisfying. Many places can be a little confusing when it comes to couples therapy. We can say that couple therapy is the therapy in which engaged or dating couples participate. Couples therapy is quite separate from individual therapy and the most important point that makes it different is that it is relationship-oriented. Emphasis is placed on the selves of individuals in relationships. In summary, who the clients are in the relationship is more important than who they are. Another acceptance is the circularity in couples therapy. This concept is put in the center. It is called circularity when couples create the relationship together. According to this concept, both individuals are responsible for the improvement or deterioration of a relationship. For this reason, the relationship is never considered unilaterally just or unfair. The fact that both individuals do nothing mutually is considered as doing something in the name of the relationship. For example; When viewed, one of the clients may be more dominant and directing, but; According to couple therapy, the other individual contributes to a certain cycle of the relationship by displaying submissive and accepting behavior and attitude. Here, change teaches solution-oriented thinking. So what is solution oriented looking? In both individuals, “What can I do to solve the problems?” It means perspective. From what I have observed, we use some metaphors so that clients can understand better, and these become more productive in couples sessions. For example, imagine that you are athletes on the same sports team, and the fault of one of you does not only concern him, even if one person makes the mistake, the whole team must fight to make up for it. Otherwise, both individuals will lose.
I can say that it is important to determine the goals of couple therapy. While these goals are determined, we create joint decisions of each of the couples. In addition, the goals must be realistic and attainable in terms of therapy. For example, “Let the relationship go smoothly” or “My partner never leaves me alone.” We see that goals such as these are unrealistic and unattainable. After all goals are approved, the intervention process begins. In this process, we take steps to solve the identified problems and support them with methods and techniques. Let’s talk a little bit:
- Psycho-education: Psycho-education is the short training I give to couples to raise awareness about human psychology and relationships.
- Cognitive techniques: Cognitive techniques are techniques used to recognize the mindsets of couples about themselves, each other, and their relationships, and replace dysfunctional (automatic thoughts) with functional ones (refute the dysfunctional).
- Emotional techniques: While emotional techniques are used in couple therapy, we aim to raise awareness about emotions. The formation of emotions and their importance in the life of the individual, their recognition, their correct expression, understanding the emotions of individuals, etc. Things create awareness.
- Behavioral techniques: In behavioral techniques, I aim to raise awareness about the formation of behaviors and their effect on the relationship.
- Experiential techniques: In the sessions, I aim to try new things developed so that emotions and thoughts can be noticed and expressed correctly. For example; clients show their anger against me to express their anger without using slang, swearing or insulting.
- Out-of-session work: Couples therapy, its process is extensive and comprehensive, not just in a session setting. In order to consolidate the topics covered in the session, it is necessary to exert effort in the daily life of the couples. In general, we sometimes give homework to the couples and these assignments are determined together with the couples and the results are discussed.
According to my research; All these methods and techniques that I have explained and illustrated vary according to the structure of the individual and the relationship of the couple. To summarize, couples therapy is a functional therapy method by reinforcing certain techniques and methods in order for couples who have emotional relationships to make their relationships more mutually satisfactory.
