What is First Night Fear?
First night fear is experiencing a high level of anxiety and fear during sexual intercourse. Depending on the fear in question, contractions are experienced and sexual intercourse cannot be performed accordingly.
The first sexual intercourse is very important for a couple. Many couples may face this day with fear and anxiety due to their lack of sexual knowledge and experience. However, the fear of the first night can be easily overcome by learning some small information in advance by both women and men, reducing stress and eliminating the causes that cause anxiety in the head.
What are the stories that lead to first night terrors?
The most common are exaggerated stories, such as the first night will be very painful and difficult, the hymen will be very painful when ruptured, the first night will be very bleeding, even deaths due to blood loss as a result of excessive bleeding. In addition, the partner’s inexperience about sexual intercourse may increase the first night fears.
The penis may go to the wrong place during intercourse; These include fears that it may harm the urinary canal or anus during intercourse, or that it will hurt if the penis is too large.
The statements that the partners will clamp together during sexual intercourse, that the penis will remain in the vagina and that they will be hospitalized. These statements cause great anxiety and fear in women with the thought that they will be disgraced. But this is not physically possible. If couples stop during intercourse, penile rigidity will disappear. It is difficult to enter the vagina unless the penis hardness persists.
How to Overcome First Night Fear?
The first night terror is not something that comes out of nowhere. In general, this fear is noticed before the first night of sexual intercourse. Here are some suggestions for overcoming the fear of the first night:
- In order to overcome the fear of the first night, it is extremely important to learn the information correctly. Especially newly married couples with no previous experience can seek counseling from a sexual therapist to learn general information about genital anatomy and physiology before marriage.
- You do not have to experience sexual intercourse from the first night. It is very important that you are ready. If you leave it for the next night, not the first night, it will alleviate your fear a little bit.
- At the time of sexual intercourse, try to focus on the moment and pleasure, not on intercourse. Your focus on merging will trigger your fear.
- Don’t focus on making the first merge perfect. Sexuality is something learned. You will learn this together with your partner. For this reason, the first sexual intercourse is not perfect, but it happens.
- People who grew up in families where they will be under pressure about the first night may try to spend the night in an environment where their families are not.
- We must get rid of the thought that there will be hymen bleeding or pain in the first sexual intercourse. The thought that there will be bleeding and pain in the first sexual intercourse creates intense stress in the woman and prevents the vagina from being ready for intercourse. The subconscious mind is conditioned not to have intercourse. This makes it difficult for the vagina to relax, become slippery and ready for intercourse. Let’s not forget that if the first sexual intercourse is done under the right and appropriate conditions, there will be absolutely no pain and bleeding.
If you’re having a hard time overcoming your fear of the first night, don’t be afraid to seek help. The long-lasting fear of the first night can turn into vaginismus. For this reason, you can solve this problem by consulting a specialist.
