What kind of title is that, I hear you say. Come on, close your eyes and imagine this scent. As a child, when you enter the house from the outside, you smell that freshly baked cake. Isn’t that familiar smell in your nose? The one that makes the house feel like home…
The choice of partner is an undeniable choice in our lives. A partner with whom we will spend most of our time together, maybe share a house, a lifetime, sleep in the same bed, wake up in the same morning, maybe want to have a child. that’s why we take the time and effort to find someone so important, to create and maintain a partnership. In the process of making this important decision, we make choices, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. It has been seen in research that factors such as intimacy, our beliefs, couple compatibility and physical attraction affect our choice. These factors, which we look for in the individual in front of us, do not always appear as a result of our real evaluations. We experience intense attraction, especially at the beginning of our relationship. While the reason for this intense attraction is not clear at first, it may cause us to experience more intense emotions later in the relationship. This is due to the fact that there are different reasons behind the attraction we experience. As a result, this attraction for different reasons deeply affects the way we evaluate the other party and the decisions we make. Please keep remembering that cake smell!
Attachment theory draws attention to the fact that the relationship that a person establishes with his parents in his early childhood forms the basis of that person’s perspective on relationships. In other words, the attachment style established in childhood continues into adulthood. In that case, we can make us say that the relationship-bond we establish with the first caregiver gives us information about what the world is like, what the feeling of trust is, and what the interpersonal relationship is. How this knowledge came into existence brings with it a strong belief in our brain that our other relationships should be like that too.
Therefore, we look for relationships similar to the ones we have with our parents, and we establish closeness with people with whom we can establish such a relationship. In other words, we want to smell that cake baked in our home when we were children, in every home. Because what we know makes us feel safer and that cake smell draws us in.
