Adolescence is the most challenging period of life with major changes.
Adolescence, which is the transition period from childhood to adulthood, starts with puberty (on average 13 years for boys, 11 years for girls) and lasts until adulthood. Although the age of adulthood varies from culture to culture, it is stated as the age at which a person can lead a life independent of his family.
In this process, the adolescent (=young) is in constant change and growth. The very rapid and obvious change in physical properties is associated with the intense increase in the secretion of growth hormones. Hormone changes begin a few years before puberty. The growth hormone secreted by the anterior lobe of the hypophysis cerebri (pituitary gland) extends the height quite rapidly within an average of two years from puberty, bringing it to almost adult size. This growth occurs earlier in girls than in boys. This is an indication that girls reach sexual maturity earlier than boys. Girls reach sexual maturity with menstruation and boys with semen production. The main hormones governing this development are androgens in boys and estrogen in girls. These hormones also contribute to the development of facial, body and pubic hair in men, which is associated with sexual development, and the deepening of the voice; in girls, it causes growth of pubic and body hair and breasts and enlargement of the hips. Physical changes are associated with physiological adjustment. Studies show that early bloomers adapt better than late bloomers.
In this process, it is a common fact that the emotional states of young people are quite complex and variable due to the hormones that have begun to be secreted, and that young people are also fragile and/or aggressive.
These physical changes also play a very important role in the rise of the sex drive. However, since satisfying the sexual drive is still taboo in many cultures and information about sexuality is still very minimal, especially in conservative societies like ours, there is usually an increase in oral functions in girls (talking a lot, eating a lot, smoking habits – social factors in smoking habits – etc.), and in boys usually escalation of aggression is very common.
Adolescence is a process in which intense pressures are experienced in emotional states. However, although emotional pressure is not insurmountable, it is very related to cultural approaches.
There are no major changes in intellectual functioning at puberty. The ability to solve complex problems develops gradually. This development is directly proportional to the education received.
Adolescence is the most important life cycle to reach independent adulthood from a dependent child.
it is a fact.
Erikson sees the adolescence process as the final formation stage of the active positive ego identity and thus states that the future becomes a part of a conscious life plan.
Adolescence is the turning point in life. With this period, the future takes a new form. This process fosters positive self-perception, which is crucial to growth.
The picture we see mostly is that parents and teachers are unprepared in this process and they cannot prepare the adolescent for this process by informing them in a healthy way.
In this process, young people think and feel differently. Friendships outside the family become more frequent and closer. There are also changes in family relationships. In the eyes of young people, their families are no longer the most important and life outside the family accelerates. As young people develop their own views, family conflicts begin. In this process, phone calls are an important social tool for young people. As the technology progressed over the years, chats and ‘sms’ took the place of the phone. All of this can frustrate families; However, it should not be forgotten that these communication tools are very important steps for young people to get to know themselves and to enter into social relations with people different from their families. In this process, clothing, external appearance and especially brands gain importance. Young people prefer these elements to express themselves among their friends.
In this process, young people act according to external factors instead of acting in accordance with a developed self-identity.
They become more and more independent of their families. This causes families to feel pushed aside. However, families should try to understand that this is the right time for young people to find their identities, instead of being insensitive, jealous and restrictive for fear of losing their importance. Although young people object to almost everything their families say in this process, they record everything that is said. Families should give young people time to evaluate these records and form their own truths.
Young people always want to try innovations in their efforts to be independent, but because they have little knowledge and experience, their success is generally low and they are under pressure due to this low success. These pressures cause constant fluctuations in young people’s self-confidence. They act like adults one moment, and then like children the next. It is imperative that families be flexible and support their children in this process.
While trying innovations, young people can take serious risks from time to time and even get into dangerous situations. The healthiest way to minimize these risks is to engage in productive activities such as sports, music, etc.
In this process, the adolescent finds himself alone with significant physiological and environmental adaptation problems. Physical change is very rapid and the adolescent has to cope with new perceptions. In this unbalanced period, the adolescent is in an environment that cannot understand and comprehend himself, and is also in an environment that cannot understand himself.
Depression during adolescence is a very common condition. As young people have difficulty coping with these pressures, have difficulty adapting to the changes in their body and mood, depression becomes inevitable when all these are combined with the fact that the families feel pushed out and become irritable. However, these depressions are not well understood by either young people or their families.
This process, in which sexual development begins and is quite high, is often matched with feelings of guilt in conservative countries like ours due to cultural and moral pressures, and seriously reduces the possibility of a healthy sexual life in adult life. In this process, equipping young people with healthy information is very important for physical and psychological health. And it should be kept in mind that this health is not only individual but also social.
Parents, in particular, act as if this process never happened, causing the adolescent, who already has a mixed body and brain, to experience the process even more complicated. Many researchers describe adolescence as the most critical, most difficult period of life. Adolescence is a crossroads that determines life. Social scientists are united in the approach that society is the exact mirror of the adolescent development process.
In this process, conflicts with family and society turn into a problem of authority and school failure is added to the list as a rebellion against authority. Difficulty concentrating, attractiveness of outside life, willingness to try novelties, healthy unfulfilled sexual urges are other important effects of school problem.
Instead of developing our own perceptions, priorities and values during adolescence, as a result of learning what others (adults = authority) have taught us, we learn to accept society’s (= authority) perceptions and values as correct, instead of our own perceptions and values in adulthood. Thus, instead of learning to live autonomously, we learn to submit. Especially in patriarchal, eastern societies like us, children, adolescents and adults, who are not given the right to speak first at home, then at school, and then in the society since childhood, constitute today’s society, which cannot understand, comprehend, perceive and therefore express itself.
The society, which tries to make the child and adolescent work like a machine and clock, has to learn to turn around and look at itself a little while complaining about today’s social insensitivity and low perception.
Adolescence is a period of growth, change, discovery of self and the world. It is not as difficult as it seems to turn this seemingly very painful process into a pleasant process by supporting the development of these positive changes, which are actually all positive. During this period, the most important task falls to the parents. Parents experience much greater fear than young people, and they falter in uncertainty and unhappiness in this process. However, although this process is sometimes difficult, it usually does not result in serious problems. No matter how difficult the difficulties created by the youth are, they are not long lasting. It is imperative that parents first grasp this (they were once teenagers too) and be understanding with their children.
Parents should never forget that they play the most important role in the development of their children. Young people need to know that they are accepted, loved and trusted in this process (as in every adoption process).
While living this process with understanding and love, the rules should never be left aside. Parents should talk to young people about the rules and implement them by making joint decisions. These rules should be supportive and encouraging for young people to carry their own responsibilities. If the rules are not followed, punishment should be only in the form of deprivation, and insulting and degrading words and behaviors should be strictly avoided. Deciding on the punishment to be applied together is an important phenomenon in making the young person aware of their responsibilities.
Another duty of parents is to be the person they can consult with, find attention, love and comfort for young people. This will only happen if the young person is confident that his family will not criticize, punish, yell, or advise him at every opportunity. Hearing and listening is a very important trait.
One of the important points is that families do not expect their children to be constantly grateful. Children will not realize how important and enjoyable it is to be a parent without being a parent themselves, and how much responsibility it requires.
Teens and parents, fear not, puberty is a temporary process. What is permanent is the learnings acquired as in every phase of life. Life success is to ensure that learning is healthy and enjoyable.
Dr.phil. R. Meltem KAVCAR SIRALI
