Being (not) separated from the parent

Fear of the unknown and separation anxiety are expected normal stages in a child’s development; but if both go to extremes and begin to interfere with the child’s functioning, they can cause problems. Problems arising from the normal development process are “separation difficulties” and excessive separation fears are “separation anxiety”.

Separation difficulties are a normal, healthy part of a child’s development. Attachment begins in mid-infancy when the child has a sense of belonging to his parents. This attachment causes the child to feel sad when leaving his/her parents and to worry about abandonment. When the child begins to believe that the parents will come again, he gives up his protests about separation. Many parents remember how their baby cried when they left the house for the first time. Usually, the crying stops when the door is completely closed or soon after, but some babies can’t get over the anxiety of being separated and continue to cry almost until the parent arrives. A child with separation difficulties may cry, throw tantrums, or refuse to attend school when it’s time to leave the house. Although these reactions may seem very unusual, they are perfectly normal.

Source: Dr Susan Anderson and Dr Henrietta Leonard ”Child is OK!” 2003 Epsilon Publishing House- Istanbul

* In addition to these, if your child has a long-term separation difficulty or if you suspect separation anxiety disorder, you should definitely consult a specialist.

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