emotional relationships

It creates an identity different from itself on both sides in relationships. This identity, which is not distant from the self but belonging to the relationship, should first make you happy. The most important question to ask is: am I satisfied with the identity I have created in the relationship? Have I been able to love the person I have become? If your answer is negative then it should work on it. Our schemes, lifestyle, experiences, traumas may be making us someone we do not want in a relationship today. We cannot change the past, but we can create awareness and insight today to make the future better. Being “us” is not an easy concept. A concept that you can create by missing you is not at all. You get closer to being us when you are the most me. We always want the person you are with to be the person we idealize. At first, let’s call it love, it’s the time when positive bias is the most. The seemingly ideal partner suddenly becomes disillusioned when this time frame is over. If we maintain the initial expectation in relationships, we are very likely to be disappointed. expectations; It changes and transforms with you and the relationship. So are feelings and thoughts. Your expectation from a relationship at 19 and your expectation at 50 will be different. Relationship is labor, labor is investment. The more effort and investment, the harder it is to give up. Unless you give up, distances from yourself can begin. In order not to betray the labor, sometimes a person can be burdened with himself. Relationships are like a dance, it may have to be let go when the music is over. Relationships are too great for the sacrifices and effort of one person. Therefore, both partners must be active. However, one of the partners can start therapy with more awareness. In order for couple therapy to be effective, both partners need to gain awareness individually. Therefore, every couple therapy should include individual therapies.