First night fear is the intense fear and anxiety that many women and men experience about sexual intercourse. This fear often hinders the union, and because the union does not occur, the fear is reinforced. In the following process, the fear of the first night may turn into vaginismus in women and performance anxiety in men. To put it briefly;
What is vaginismus?
It is the involuntary and uncontrolled contraction of the muscles of the vaginal region during sexual intercourse in women, which prevents intercourse. As a result of contractions, sexual intercourse becomes painful, painful or impossible. Vaginismus affects the sexual lives of couples quite negatively.
What is Performance Anxiety?
The anxiety of “being able to do” during sexual intercourse, which is seen in men, is called performance anxiety. Questions of whether I will be able to do or will I be able to achieve during the union prevent sexual pleasure or sexual arousal and the person cannot enjoy the moment.
The main causes of first night fear are;
- Not having enough information about sexuality or having wrong information
- The thought that it will hurt a lot during the reunion
- meaning of sexuality
- Closed, conservative and protective family structure
- More than normal sense of self-control
- Traumatic events in the past, sexual abuse
- organic causes
In addition;
Misconceptions about the hymen cause first night fear. According to social views, the hymen bursts and bleeding occurs when the penis enters the vagina in the first night. However, this is not the case; 60% of women do not bleed in the first night. The reason for this is that a healthy and informed sexuality has been experienced. If the woman’s body is comfortable, if there is no contraction, if the vagina is wet, if the pleasure is high, bleeding does not occur.
How to Prevent?
- Do research on sexuality, don’t believe everything you hear.
- Try to focus on the moment and pleasure, not on union.
- Do not be afraid to share your concerns and fears with your partner.
- Keep the foreplay long. Foreplay improves the quality of sex.
- Identify an environment where you feel comfortable, transform the current environment into a place where you can relax.
- Move away from the notion that the first merge has to be perfect. Do not forget that sexuality is a concept that can be learned and developed.
