CHILDREN LIEING
Lying; It is a defense mechanism, that is, a way of self-preservation, that people resort to to get rid of moments of anxiety and fear.
Lie; It is deceiving oneself and at the same time trying to deceive others. This untrue attempt to hide an error can be verbal or sometimes with gestures and facial expressions.
In fact, children’s lies are innocent compared to adults’ lies. Because; their lies are not intended to deceive. Since the child cannot evaluate the truth well, he distorts what he sees and makes it up. Some parents deny that the child tells things that did not happen as if they had happened. Instead of listening to them and accepting them as they are, they blame the child. Since the imagination of 3-5 year olds is very wide, they tell incredible stories and cannot distinguish between lies and non-lies.
Why do children lie;
They may confuse lies with imaginative exaggerations
There may be frequent lying in the family or in the environment, and the child takes this as a model
Parents and environment have enough love and care
The child may lie to avoid punishment
The child may lie for the things he longs for and wants to happen
The child may lie to gain admiration
May lie not to share their parents’ love and attention May lie not to share their friends’ love and attention
May lie in children who are over-rewarded in early childhood
Advice to parents;
Parents should determine why the child is lying.
Before preventing the child from lying, he should always be the right model for the child, and the parents should not lie.
It is necessary not to allow situations that will push the child to lie.
Parents should know their children well and should not expect things above their performance.
Children should not be compared with their siblings or other peers.
Children should not be overly authoritarian or oppressive.
The child should not be constantly criticized for the behaviors he/she does or cannot do.
The mother or father should not make the child a partner in their own lies. An expression such as ‘don’t tell your father where we are going today’ will lead the child to lie
Parents should allow the child to express their feelings and thoughts openly and listen to him.
It is necessary to focus not on the content of the lie, but on why the child is lying.
It should be determined in which situations the child lies. For example, it should be determined whether he lies most often in school failures or in friendships.
The child should also be rewarded when he does not lie.
