Parents raise their child, imagining that one day they will be young. Maybe they don’t realize that childhood has passed so quickly in the rush of life and the age of youth has arrived. They see that the young person they call CHILDREN does not want to listen to his word, he is after what is right according to him…
During the youth period, parents are concerned about their children’s circle of friends. Now her children are young and she wants to spend more time outside of the family and with friends. The most heard voice in the family is the concepts of good friends and bad friends. If a good personality is established in childhood with family and environmental influences, there may not be much problem. In parallel with a good personality placement in the child, the choice of friends will also be appropriate. Parents shouldn’t worry too much. In addition, is the experience of external life gained in accordance with the growth and development of the child? this is gaining in importance.
The most common phrase that young people hear is “I trust you but I don’t trust the environment”. In this age, the family and the youth should keep their communication healthy in the right manners without prejudice. Young people should be able to share positive and negative experiences with their friends and family. Here, the family can be partly guiding. The young person may also be in contact with people who have negative behaviors. However, the important thing here is that the young person does not get carried away by such people and groups; is to show his family that he is governing himself. The young person should have self-control and be sure of the damage caused by the environment. He should share with his family and should not lose his sense of belonging to the family. The family should not have an oppressive and judgmental attitude here, so that the young person can tell the truth or the wrong. Problems can be overcome without being blamed for the youth. Here, the use of tone of voice is an issue that the family will take care of. Using a loud and confrontational tone of voice will also negatively affect communication.
Parents should not go into private in order to protect the young person from the negative effects of the environment, but necessary issues should be discussed and solutions should be sought. In this way, we will not cause the young person to lose their self-confidence. We should prepare an environment where the young person can feel comfortable and peaceful. This is not an environment without responsibilities. The family should raise it by giving responsibilities appropriate to its age, it should grow up knowing how to tidy its room or the part that belongs to it, and it should continue in the youth period, perhaps with some additions.
Parents should continue to be a model in their youth and set an example with their behaviors. Making imperative sentences in communication arouses the desire of the young person to do the opposite. For this reason, showing that the family accepts that the young person knows something and caring about his thoughts strengthens the development of self-confidence. If the family and the youth create a platform by mutually revealing their experiences and wishes, the young person chooses the one that is suitable for him and implements it.
He/she learns by experience with his/her positive and negative features.
Scaring the young person with the bad features of the environment causes his self-confidence to be damaged. This is an important issue in a young person’s life. A young person may have low grades at school, but losing self-confidence is important because it will lead to failure in school of life.
Also, uncertainty causes loss of confidence, so the teenager must remove the uncertainties in his life so that his family can trust him enough.
In conflicts that may occur in the family, the communication problem, perhaps due to lack of information about what family members will say, or perhaps because of the difficulty of living conditions, draws attention. The family spent the day in difficult conditions, there may be intolerances when they come together in the evening. In this case, family members should try to understand each other and show empathy without breaking their good intentions. Family members need to make each other feel valued. This is a sign that sharing is enough. The reasons for the young person to feel worthless are not being able to communicate enough with the family, misperceiving the situation, and keeping his expectations high.
In order to establish trust within the family, an environment should be created in which feelings and thoughts can be expressed clearly and clearly. This is possible by not being oppressive, being respectful to ideas, and being open to criticism. A person should not force his own thoughts to be accepted by the other party. If he sees the criticisms that come to him as constructive and an opportunity to complete his own deficiencies, it means that a democratic environment has been caught in the family.
What causes an oppressive environment in the family? Lying, hypocrisy, hidden behavior, resentment… The young person, who is pushed to do something under pressure, acts as if what is wanted is done, but when it comes to the conclusion part, if the truth comes out and he gets a reaction from the family, he will be happy. Because he realized his own wish and did not bow to the pressure from the family. It has developed a passive-aggressive response.
From childhood, parents should be the right model for young people, avoid lying, and show an exemplary life in honesty. Families cannot show the right approach to the problem by getting angry and shouting at the wrong behavior, or explaining the honesty for a long time does not distract the young person from their negative behavior. It is important to tell the truth, however; not all true cases are told everywhere. In such cases, it may be necessary to keep quiet, hide the truth, and perhaps find another solution. Caution should be exercised in situations that may cause problems.
Success and happiness achieved by lying are short-lived. A long-lasting process with honesty, which brings success and happiness as long as it is continued. A life lived with dignity and with a certain determination is very important. Adopting the gossip style, it causes negativities in communication. With a little imagination, the facts are distorted, situations that do not exist or are shown as if they have happened. Therefore, young people should pay attention to their speech and avoid situations that will upset them. Otherwise, the young person will harm himself and those around him.
