PEER RELATIONS IN Adolescence
In adolescence, peer relations not only support children’s sharing and cooperation, but also play an important role in gaining the necessary skills for interpersonal relations, problem solving and coping with problems. During this period, children see themselves as an independent individual among their friends. They believe they are better understood by their peers than by their families. Social needs such as belonging, acceptance and attachment cause them to spend more time with their peers.
Thanks to “Peer Solidarity”, children influence each other positively by helping each other in personal, social and academic matters. This solidarity helps them gain identity and feel safe. In addition, it helps to increase their sense of responsibility, increase their academic success, stay away from undesirable behaviors, and strengthen their effective communication skills. However, sometimes being under the control of the peer group unfortunately brings peer pressure.
What is Peer Pressure and Peer Bullying?
When a child is forced or encouraged by his friends to do something, it is called “Peer Pressure”, and when a strong person or people harm individuals who do not have the power to resist, physically, verbally, psychologically, socially or cyberly, it is called “Peer Bullying”. They emphasize that there is an increase in the anxiety levels of the children who are exposed to it, and that they are faced with feelings such as worthlessness, anxiety, fear, and helplessness.
When we look at the causes of bullying; We can say that it can happen for reasons such as attracting attention, having more social status by behaving oppressively, appearing popular among peers, having the belief to achieve their wishes with aggression, using such acts of bullying as a problem-solving method in the family or close environment. For this reason, it is very important to make children feel that they are loved and respected, understood, respected, listened to without being judged, and accepted, starting from the family environment.
Advice to parents
Be a role model as a parent. Children whose boundaries and privacy are respected become individuals who respect the needs and boundaries of others. Respect their need for solitude and privacy. Enter their room with permission.
Try to enrich your child’s social skills. Give them the opportunity to spend time with their friends and support them to invite their friends to the house. Help them experience skills such as taking responsibility, expressing their feelings, and valuing the feelings of the other party. Strengthen the ability to say no to an undesirable situation.
Try to provide your child with a democratic family environment at home. Make sure that there is no environment in the family where only adults speak. Do not forget that this situation can increase the child’s feelings such as anger, unhappiness and injustice.
