What do “routines” and “rituals” in family life mean?
The coronavirus pandemic has changed the world tremendously, as we can see in science fiction scenes. Children cannot go to school, receive distance education, cannot go out, cannot see their friends. While some of the parents work from home, those who continue to work experience anxiety when entering and leaving the house or stay in another isolated place. This is a frightening and uncertain time for all of us, especially children. The lives, rituals and routines of children and families have changed profoundly during the pandemic. The question of what is the confusion of this change of routines and rituals in children has become important.
The words “routine” and “ritual” are sometimes used interchangeably. Yet there are some important differences. Routines are defined as “ordinary, non-variety, and routine behaviors”. What needs to be done more in routines are behaviors that are done instantly, that are not thought about much later, and that serve more concrete communication. Routines are repetitive, predictable events that provide a foundation for daily tasks in a child’s life. Parents can customize these routines to meet children’s sleep and eating needs and to support children’s development of self-control. On the other hand, rituals defined as “the thing (behavior) that is repeated at regular intervals” are more about symbolic communication. As a group, they express ‘our family values, who we are’ and transmit them through generations by ensuring the continuity of the meaning of who we are. Rituals are a way for families and children to connect with each other on a deeper level. Rituals and routines work together to create safe environments that nurture relationships between parents and children. It creates a partnership while strengthening the bond between parent and child. Routines have the potential to become a ritual once they begin to be attributed symbolic values.
Why are routines-rituals so important and why do children need routines-rituals?
Routines and rituals performed by family members are repetitive patterns of behavior that serve to facilitate family life, transfer family values, and form family identity. Routines provide children with a way to accomplish a specific task. It offers parents the opportunity to form emotional bonds with their children. It organizes family life, strengthens family identity, develops strong family relationships and sense of belonging. Studies have revealed that rituals facilitate social interaction between family members and play a role in the transfer of cultural characteristics. As family members spend time together doing both normal routines and more specialized rituals, children will gain a better understanding of what parents value and believe in.
Routines and rituals created from the early stages of life contribute positively to the academic and social development of children. Family routines and meaningful rituals that occur spontaneously within the family provide both a predictable structure that guides behavior and an emotional climate that supports early development for children. They help children develop self-control. They also give children the opportunity to develop vocabulary and social skills in a meaningful way.
In infancy and preschool, children’s behavior is better regulated when they are healthier and have predictable routines in the family, according to research. According to one study, children with regular bedtime routines go to bed earlier and wake up less during the night than those with less regular routines.
Benefits of establishing routines and rituals during the pandemic
In the days of the epidemic, when the daily life order is radically changed, even the very small routines created bring family members together and give a sense of stability. Again, family routines and rituals can make these difficult times a little more bearable. Especially in crisis or negative life events, rituals serve to reduce uncertainty in families and restore stability and trust.
Every family has different wants, needs and interests. During the pandemic, families must find a way to create their own routines and rituals. Routines that are good for family members and increase the sense of stability and confidence during the epidemic; short walks, sports in the home environment, walking, exercises, activities during the day, developing behavior patterns related to cleaning and virus protection, enjoyable activities, family TV time, food (weekend breakfasts, dinners), sleep (wearing pajamas before going to bed) , brushing teeth, toilet, reading a book and bedtime). Family rituals that increase the sense of belonging: joint family mealtime; enjoyable activities such as sports and movies on weekends; celebrations such as birthdays, anniversaries and meetings; such as religious rituals, rituals on national holidays, preparing ethnic foods together, local cultural events.
When routines are first established, parents have to devote time to directing the routines. Over time, children become more skilled at implementing and maintaining routines. The process moves from simpler to more complex routines. Routines allow children to participate in daily activities. So routines encourage children’s independence. When kids know what the next thing is, they’re more willing to do it. But it also motivates them to do it on their own. Established routines often revolve around daily living skills. Because a routine lets a child know what their next step is, it gives them the confidence to move on and do that thing. If there is a constant routine somewhere, the child can anticipate events and their consequences. This develops the child’s sense of self. Stability makes children feel more secure.
Table: Importance and effects of parents’ development of routines and rituals for children
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Routines and rituals provide opportunities for parent-child bonds to be formed and strengthened. Routines develop defined roles and responsibilities Routines and rituals strengthen family identity Routines and rituals develop a sense of belonging Routines let the child (them) know what awaits them. Life becomes so much more comfortable and meaningful when a child knows what to expect. Routines create a sense that life is predictable. Routines are comforting because they give the child a sense of security. Routines and rituals provide enhanced emotional self-control through security and comfort Routines and rituals help children develop social skills and academically |
Advice to parents in planning and implementing routines
Be positive.
In the beginning, make sure that children become planner-participants for appropriate rituals.
Be flexible. Be prepared to change, go backwards or forwards in the app.
Stay calm when it doesn’t go as planned. Since children will take you as a model, they will also take you as a model in the routines they cannot do. Enjoy the practice of routines while remaining calm
Show continuity and consistency.
Remember to praise effort, not results.
Focus on what went well in your routine, not what went wrong. Do not forget to include the actions that will surely go well, and that they can succeed in doing.
