Sister Jealousy
SYMPTOMS
The child, who was the center of attention and love of the whole family before he became a sibling, may regress to previous developmental periods with behaviors such as bed wetting and thumb sucking with the arrival of his sibling.
The child may feel that he has to share love and attention, or he may think that he is no longer loved as he used to be, and may turn away from the family and withdraw.
They may try to draw attention to themselves with various excuses; He may show eating problems or say he has nightmares, can’t sleep alone, or has a toilet.
“Do you love me?” to their parents and close circles. or “Which of us do you like more?” You can ask questions such as If the child is given the answer I love you more here, the child may worry even more, thinking that this situation may change at any moment.
REASONS
The level of sibling jealousy usually depends on the changes in parental attitudes with the birth of the new child and the way they approach what happens between siblings.
The age difference between siblings can also affect this situation. There is usually more jealousy between siblings with a small age difference.
Attitudes of people in the immediate environment as well as parents can also affect negatively. Dealing with the younger child only or intensely, making the older child feel as if they were pushed into the background, and comparing children with each other cause more intense jealousy between siblings.
get support from stories
While reading books on the subject to children who have difficulties with their sibling, they can identify with the big one in the story and relax by realizing that they are not alone in their feelings.
make arrangements
Before birth, the child can be prepared by parents. It can be explained that there may be some changes in the house, guests may come to the house, parents may be more tired than usual, due to some situations, they may have to spend more time with the baby, but this situation will improve over time.
It can be said that his brother can sleep in the parents’ bedroom for a while, and then move to his own room, just as it was done to him.
By looking at her own baby photos together, it can be said that this interest was given to her as a baby.
take no responsibility
Parents can feel that each child is special, cared for, and that there is no change in the family’s love and attention by allocating separate time for each child and engaging in individual activities together.
Along with special times, joint activities that can be attended by all family members can also be included.
It may not be constructive to expect a child to show maturity beyond their age and development.
It may not be helpful to expect your older sister/brother to be understanding, share everything with her younger brother, or to prioritize her by saying she is small. In fact, the big one is the child.
Communication with the environment
Family elders and close friends can be told not only to take care of the baby, but also to show interest and love to the older child as they are accustomed to.
Don’t smother yourself with excessive attention and gifts by saying “Don’t be jealous”. It may not be helpful to show an exaggerated and artificial interest with words such as “We don’t love him, we love you more”, “You are our first eye pain”.
Accept the feelings
It is important for the child to be able to express his feelings about his sibling. Instead of rejecting the child’s negative feelings about his sibling and showing excessive reactions, parents should try to understand the child, share with the child how he feels, and ensure that these feelings are revealed.
