My child is jealous of his sibling, how can I establish the relationship between them?
Sibling jealousy is a natural process. The problem for us is that the dose of this feeling is disturbingly high. Sibling jealousy is a phenomenon that occurs when the child who is the ruler of the house suddenly shares his powers with another child.
In sibling jealousy, the biggest responsibility falls on the family. It is the family that will adjust the dose of jealousy.
Explaining to a child before a new sibling is born
5th-6th before birth. In the months it is necessary to explain to the child that he will have a sibling. If the age is a child, this explanation can be supported by stories. In the story, attention can be drawn to the beauties that will happen in his life when he has a brother.
To make a change before the birth when the child’s life is going to be
When the baby is born, care should be taken not to make too many changes in the child’s life. In the changes to be made, the opinion of the child should be asked. In fact, his support by asking his opinion while designing his brother’s room is important in terms of feeling important and gaining self-confidence.
Taking care of the child as well as the baby
When the mother takes care of the baby, the father must also take care of the child. It is necessary to instill in him that he needs them, that he cannot go to the toilet alone, cannot eat, but that the child does this, that he is a hero. In this way, the child feels stronger and both gains the sense of responsibility and reduces the power struggle against his sibling.
Not getting everything the child wants
It is a wrong attitude to try and get rid of a child who has a sibling by getting everything he wants. This is another way of saying, “You’re going to be your brother and we are so sorry, please forgive us”. It is not the family that is to blame for making him a sibling, and the child has to accept it sooner or later.
When should I get help?
Although sibling jealousy may seem like a simple phenomenon, its manifestations can be very severe. Especially in cases such as harming, attacking, pinching a sibling, it is absolutely necessary to seek help. In general, children seem to love their siblings in the presence of their parents and try to harm them while they are away. The purpose here is to express the anger inside, rather than actually doing harm.
In addition to these, in cases of regression (bed-wetting, wanting to rock on one’s feet, nail biting, finger sucking, etc.), it is absolutely necessary to consult a specialist and eliminate the underlying problem of sibling jealousy.
What method is followed to resolve sibling jealousy?
The most effective method for sibling jealousy and anger is play therapy. The aim here is to get down to the source of the problem, to enable the child to express himself through play and to solve the problem.
Selin ŞİT
Child Development Specialist
