“Privacy”… Children’s awareness of their own and other people’s private space, protecting their private space in social life, respecting other people’s privacy, and setting healthy boundaries between themselves and their surroundings.
HOW TO GIVE PRIVACY EDUCATION
PRIVATE SPACE KNOWLEDGE: MY PROHIBITED PLACES
The child should be gradually told starting from the age of two or three that the parts of the body that are private and that these areas should be hidden. The child should be taught that this area should be hidden from others and that no one should touch this area except parents and doctors.
Sexual organs should be taught through the child’s own sexual organs or books, not through the parents when the child asks. From the age of three, children should begin to feel uncomfortable when certain parts of their body are touched. Especially touching the genital areas should cause an immediate reaction in the child. In order to raise this awareness, contact with the genital areas of children should be reduced from the age of three.
Children should not be loved by their spouses, friends and relatives by touching, kissing, hitting their genitals. It is not right to undress and dress the child in front of others, even to his underwear, thinking that THE CHILD’S CLOTHING IS NOT CHANGEABLE IN FRONT OF OTHERS. Of course, it is important for the child to develop a holistic sense of privacy by dressing and undressing in an area that the child will not see.
WHILE BATHING OUR CHILD
Washing the child with underwear, especially after the age of three, squinting while removing and cleaning the underwear or turning the head slightly to the side, will contribute to the development of a sense of privacy in children. Giving children the opportunity to clean their own private areas in the bathroom after the age of five or six will also be healthy in terms of developing a sense of responsibility and privacy. Parents should also wear modest clothes when bathing their children.
NOT MAKING CHILDREN’S SEXUAL ORGANS AN OBJECT OF LOVE
It is not right to love young children by touching their genitals and making them a subject. Because this is a violation of their private space. In this way, the child believes that other people’s private areas can be used to make jokes about them. In addition, loving children with the subject of their genitals can make them ineffective in protecting themselves from malicious strangers. The child may not be able to distinguish whether it is good or bad when someone else wants to touch their private area. Making jokes about the child’s genitals, asking them to show them, trying to touch them is very inconvenient for the development of the child’s sexual identity.
CHILD’S BED SEPARATION WITH PARENTS
By the age of two, the child gradually gains independence and begins to want to eat on his own and walk on the road by himself. This period is also a time when the child’s room can be separated in terms of development. In general, this problem should be resolved by the age of 3-4 years. It is inconvenient for the child to witness the special relationship of his parents.
TEACHING TO ENTER YOUR ROOM WITH PERMISSION
Children should be taught from the age of four or five that if their parents’ room is closed, they have to enter the room by knocking on the door and getting permission. Knocking on the door of the child while entering the room will set a good model for the child.
INTERVENTION IN TELEVISION SCENES
For example, in a television scene, a person who touches his friends’ private area for a joke can get angry loudly.
The reaction can be expressed with sentences such as “It is not nice to touch people’s private parts”. Because children learn more easily through the reactions of their parents to others, not to themselves. Since children learn more through imitation during this period, they can try the scenes they see on television on their friends. It is necessary to pay attention to the content of the TV programs watched. Parents, who see their child imitating the scene on TV, can tell their child that this is not a nice-right behavior without overreacting or laughing.
YOU CAN TOUCH IF I ALLOW
In order to create this awareness, parents should avoid using their child’s body rudely. When parents kiss their children “Can I kiss you?” asking for permission is effective in the formation of this awareness. It should not be forgotten that the unauthorized use of the child’s weak body by everyone will break the reflex of protecting the child’s own body.
MY SIZE BELONGS TO ME
The baby, who easily puts himself in the hands of adults since his infancy, needs to realize his own body in the coming years and feel that he is a separate individual from the adults around him. Parents should give their children the awareness that their body belongs to them from the age of 3 onwards. The most basic factor in creating this awareness is the tendency of parents to get their children’s approval in an action they will do with their children’s bodies. For example, a sweaty child’s undershirt should not be taken off suddenly without permission, a child’s pants that wet themselves should not be removed with anger, but with the permission of the child. Over time, the child feels the interventions to be made on his body without his permission and becomes uncomfortable.
RESISTANCE TO PHYSICAL PRESSURE
Young children understand their own weakness and helplessness as they discover the strength of adults. Parents and relatives should refrain from using too great and disproportionate force to make children feel their own powerlessness in their displays of affection. Parents should teach their child to respond when force is applied to him. For this reason, the reaction of the child in some situations that he does not want should not be broken with a show of strength, it should be shown by experience that the resistance of the child works.
MY BODY CANNOT BE VIEWED
Children should not be left naked from the moment they start walking. The child should remember himself as clothed in the genital area from the earliest age he can remember. Especially from the age of three, children should not be inside or outside the house naked, and they should be allowed to put on and take off their clothes. A child who is not accustomed to seeing himself naked in front of others will feel very uncomfortable having his clothes taken off by someone.
THERE IS NO ONE ELSE IN THE TOILET
Some parents either go to the toilet with their children or leave the bathroom door ajar for various reasons.
This behavior prevents the child from gaining basic behavioral reflexes. A child who has reached the age of four for whatever reason, should learn that the toilet is a “private” place, and should know that it would not be appropriate for someone to meet his toilet needs to be seen by others. The child should not get used to not being disturbed by the sight of his genitals and not reacting to someone who sees him on the toilet.
UNLOCKING AND SOLIDITY
From the age of three, the child should step away from being seen by others, of his genitals. In this context, children’s clothes should not be changed in public. If possible, children should change their clothes in an environment where they and no one else can see them. If the child cannot change his clothes himself, the clothes should be changed by going to a separate room with the mother.
IF I ALLOW IT, YOU WILL BE ACCEPTED
For parents, a child is a child no matter how much he grows. Therefore, parents do not think that permission should be obtained when entering their child’s room. However, the principle of “if I let you, you will be accepted” should be implemented from the time the child turns four years old. Parents should ask permission to enter the child’s room, despite everything, when their naked body is encountered, they should apologize and the door should be closed. This pattern of behavior is important in terms of both respecting the personality of the child and gaining the ability to object in a situation where the child is uncomfortable.
DEFINING SPECIAL SPACE WITH PRIMARY SCHOOL
With the primary school period, it can be said that a drawer or basket can be determined at home for children and they can put their personal belongings there. The child’s use of this private space with the permission of the parents reinforces the child’s idea of private space
