Children need role models of both sexes in order to develop in a healthy way both mentally and socially. These models are fulfilled by the biological or adoptive parents in the family. The relationship with the father can be a determinant in many issues, from the development of children’s personality, self-confidence, intelligence, social skills and sexual identity to the social roles they will take part in in the future. In the past, it was found that fathers could spend more time with their children and spend more time in physical games and activities. Today, it has been determined that father-child relationship and communication take place in shorter time intervals and focus on more passive activities such as watching television or playing console/tablet games. Both in the past and today, it is known that for a healthy father-child relationship, fathers should take care of their children, take responsibility for their children’s development and care, and be able to respond to their children’s needs and problems. In order to fulfill these functions, the quality of the time is important, not the amount of time spent together. Although the most important period in terms of fathers’ time and communication with their children is preschool (before the age of 6), interaction with the father plays an important role throughout all developmental stages.
1. Development of social skills
The child learns that he is an entity that can be loved and valued with the love and care of his mother and that he can meet the needs of those around him, but through the father he accepts the existence of an individual other than the mother. Apart from the mother and the child, the presence of the father is important for the child to learn to love and to share what they have and to find solutions to the social problems they face. In the early period, the child and infant can identify themselves with the mother in their minds, and the existence of other individuals is accepted only by recognizing the father figure. In this triple relationship, the foundations of sharing, postponing their wishes, expressing their needs, recognizing and expressing emotions are laid.
2. Development of sexual identity
The sexual development of both boys and girls is affected by the presence of fathers. Boys can compete for the love of their father and mother around the age of three, and as a solution to this rivalry, they can identify with their fathers. This identification can be expressed through behaviors such as using the father’s belongings, wearing/using his glasses and similar items, and drawing a mustache/beard with paint. For a healthy father-child relationship and the child’s sexual development, it may be beneficial to accept that these rivalry and identification behaviors are developmentally normal and to facilitate the expression of anger and rivalry feelings. Approaching the rivalry and identification-related behaviors of boys in a strict manner and humiliating the child’s skills and abilities can create problems in this developmental stage and negatively affect sexual identity and roles. On the other hand, it is known that girls start to be interested in their fathers from the age of three and they want to spend more time and communicate with them. The relationship and communication style that girls establish with their fathers can affect the quality and form of their relationships with the opposite sex in the future. Girls who perceive their father as perfect and communicate very closely may compare the men they meet in the future with their past fathers and perceive them as inadequate. On the other hand, girls who have limited relationship and communication with their fathers and think that they are neglected by their fathers may prefer to have relationships with older and mature men in their adult lives. In addition, girls who have problems in their relationship and communication with their father may be at risk for internalizing disorders (depression, anxiety, etc.) in the future.
3. Intelligence development
The presence of the father and his interest in the child enrich the physical and social stimuli around the child, which contributes to the intelligence development of children. It was determined that mothers mostly played games based on verbal and emotional skills with their children, while fathers preferred playing games based on physical skills more with their children. Games based on physical skills improve children’s skills such as muscle development, visual-motor organization, visual attention, and organizational skills. It has also been shown that children who spend more time with their fathers and play games that develop different skills have higher academic and professional success in the future.
4. Development of self-confidence
For both boys and girls, the father is the one who “solves problems in the outside world” and is perceived as “strong” regardless of his physical structure. Children take their father’s approach to problems within and outside the family as a model and develop their self-confidence. The message that the father can solve the problems that his child will face also contributes to the development of self-confidence.
5. Personality development
In our country’s families, fathers come to the fore as the parents who set the rules and punish. Fathers’ approach to discipline can also affect their children’s personality development. Children of fathers who are constantly restricting, punishing and not open to their children’s ideas about rules and guidelines either come into conflict with their father and develop a rebellious personality pattern or submit by suppressing their own wants and needs. On the other hand, it is observed that the children of fathers who take into account the feedback of the children about the family rules and guidelines and can change the rules and boundaries according to the child’s age and developmental level show a healthier personality development.
6. Mental health
A healthy spiritual development is to be able to share, postpone their wishes, express their needs, recognize and express their feelings, form their sexual identity and fulfill their roles related to this identity, use cognitive skills to solve the problems they encounter, and be able to solve the problems they face. requires skills such as self-confidence. These skills also provide resistance against future depression, anxiety and similar mental problems. Therefore, it can be stated that the existence of fathers or individuals who can replace fathers is vital for the mental health of children.
7. References
7.1. Cabrera N, Fitzgerald HE, Bradley RH, Roggman L. Modeling the dynamics of paternal influences on children over the life course. Appl Developmental Sci. 2007;11(4):185-189
7.2. Rohner RP, Veneziano RA. The importance of father love: History and contemporary evidence. Rev Gene Psychol 2001; 5(4): 382-405.
7.3. Paquette D. Theorizing the father–child relationship: Mechanisms and developmental outcomes. Hum Giant 2004; 47: 193–219.
