Can we ever carefully monitor our environment? Not, but carefully, without even realizing it, I seem to hear you say that our day is passing in a rush. Living conditions have prioritized financial concerns… Are we aware of what we are missing here? Days pass, one way or another… Can we see and feel the sunrise, the wind blowing softly or hard, and how these affect our mental state? Are we aware of flowers and insects? Yes, the things we always look at; however, awareness is something else…
Living things enjoy unity and interact. We are generally familiar with African violets. Maybe you know that they can change color by being influenced by each other. Maybe you had the opportunity to observe that close contact is important in the relationship between the offspring and their mother, maybe you watch documentaries.
The most developed creature is the human offspring. He wants to experience the feeling of being close and belonging in the most intense way and to reach emotional satisfaction. Because, one of the most basic emotions, the need to be safe is met. The need for security is a need that must be intensely satisfied from the first days of life. The baby is in an extremely comfortable and safe environment in the womb, and continues to develop in the water bladder, where it can be protected as much as possible against trauma. Heat, feeding conditions are met in a way we can almost say “automatically”. It comes to life in the safe body of the mother.
After birth, the baby demands physical conditions that are as close to these conditions as possible. The most important need is the need to be safe; It is formed by the regulation of environmental conditions according to the baby. The humidity, oxygen and sterility of the baby’s room should be adjusted accordingly. With the support of breastfeeding, the baby begins to meet the environmental conditions gradually. He tries to develop resistance to germs that can make him sick. Even if the baby cannot receive breastmilk, it should be fed by relying on the mother’s breast and should not be kept away from physical contact.
Mother and baby should be together as soon as possible after birth. If the health conditions of the mother and the baby are suitable, the union is so important that it cannot be ignored. Skin contact is also effective in the emotional development of the baby, the continuation of the bonds with the mother, the feeling of safety of the baby, and the increase of breast milk.
Even adults take the position in the womb without realizing it in situations of danger and cold, they feel safe and protected. Feeling safe and peaceful, relaxes people and strengthens the immune system. The character and personality development of the emotionally supported child is positively affected. The child who grows up by experiencing beautiful emotions and skin contact; He experiences feelings of love intensely and does not want to harm his environment and people. The child calms down with a sense of trust, and the feelings of irritability and aggression are pacified.
There are children who prefer a beating over no attention at all. We can never make an affirmation of beating here. However, with skin contact, the child may even make a choice, feeling that he or she is cared for. For this reason, parents should be in close contact with their children, caress their hair, kiss their cheeks, hold their hands firmly and securely, support their verbal expressions by touching their shoulders and back, and make them feel safe.
Very angry people don’t want to touch themselves first. If we were able to make skin contact later, we saw that the tension gradually passed. Tense feelings are also experienced in children; It acts as a barrier to skin contact and slowing down.
Skin contact is feeling the existence of family, mother-child, father-child bonds. If the child and other members of the family do not experience skin-to-skin contact, or if they do not experience enough, there may be a problem in the family. To touch is to feel and feel love. Everyone needs love. Love should be able to manifest itself through expression. If we cannot love our child, someone from the outside will want to love him. The consequences of this could be dire. There may be processes ranging from substance abuse to distorted relationships. As parents, we should not avoid giving our love to our children by showing them and making them feel.
ÖZNUR SIMAV
PEDAGOG-FAMILY COUNSELOR
