Trauma can manifest itself in childhood as well as in every moment of life. Childhood trauma is the collection of distressing experiences you may have had as a child. These distressing situations can be sexual, physical or emotional abuse or neglect. Situations such as death, abandonment, accidents, disasters, arguments, etc. When traumatic events such as physical violence are experienced in the developmental age, they continue to be effective in adulthood. It should also be noted that not every bad situation will have the same effect on everyone.
Childhood trauma isn’t just about what you’ve been through, it’s about what you haven’t experienced.
Here are some examples:
Emotional neglect: When there is no emotionally compatible (connected) parent figure with us, we try to make sense of our feelings. We may learn that our needs are not important and that our role is to care about other people’s feelings.
No repair: Repair is needed when we are hurt or betrayed. Repair is when responsibility is taken, apologies, and direct confirmation of what will be different in the future. When we’re not repaired, we learn that our feelings don’t matter.
Learned helplessness: Learned helplessness can happen when we do not model how to solve problems, find solutions, and are not given the ability to leave abusive situations. This robs us of our ability to be resilient adults.
Lack of personal responsibility: The key feature of the dysfunctional is blaming others for problems or problems. When we don’t see adults taking responsibility, we learn to externalize our power. This leaves us at the whim of other people’s actions.
Lack of joy, play, or self-gratification: Another key feature of dysfunctional families is “excessive seriousness.” This could come from the long-term survival mode with no gameplay. We struggle to be light-hearted or allow ourselves to lose.
There is no place to be a child: When we become parents (created to fill the parent role), we lack the ability to grow emotionally. This is because we are focused on “mature” adult issues. This surprises us emotionally and causes us to fix what we need to fix.
No room for mistakes: Errors are essential for growth and learning logic. Excellence is required in dysfunctional families. Bugs are considered a weakness. This gives us problems of procrastination and chronic fear of criticism.
Such experiences can affect us directly or indirectly in our adult life. Consulting a specialist for the solution of problems arising from childhood traumas will affect your life positively.
I wish you healthy days
Psychological Counselor Furkan DEMIREL
