Adolescence (adolescence) is a difficult period in which fluctuations that begin between the ages of 10-11 are seen intensely. This period is a challenging period for both the adolescent and the adolescent’s family. While the family has difficulty in understanding the adolescent, the adolescent thinks that he/she cannot fully experience the feeling of being understood. In this period, if the parent knows their child well and knows the characteristics of this period, the parent-adolescent conflicts will be less.
WHAT IS Adolescence?(Adolescence)
ADOLESCENT PERIOD: It is a transitional period between childhood and adulthood that includes rapid physical, mental and social changes that begin with adolescence and last until adulthood. This period is the most important and longest developmental period of the individual, who has been in continuous development from the moment he was born.
What do individuals who step into youth want?
* They want to be noticed
* To be special
* To be appreciated
* To be respected
* They want to be remembered.
What anxieties are seen in adolescents?
* Concerns about health
* Concerns about personality-self formation
* Concerns about family and home life
* Concerns about social relationships
* Concerns about school
* Concerns about career choice
What changes occur during adolescence?
* Physical Changes
* Mental Changes
* Emotional and Social Changes
Self-Centered Thinking
* They look at the world from their own perspective and react. (“I can deal with everything, nothing will happen to me” etc.)
* They think that some experiences belong only to them. (“Mother, you don’t know what it means to be in love” etc.)
* Self-centered thinking features begin at the age of 11, reach their peak at the age of 13-14, and disappear at the age of 20-21.
Identity Development
* Who am I?
* How will I be an adult?
* What is my place in society?
* Which profession should I choose?
* What is my political, religious, sexual preference? etc. they ask questions
During this process, the adolescent is affected by the environmental conditions, family, friends, teachers and society in general. In order to gain identity, the adolescent initially needs an adult model. …
Friendship and opposite sex friendship
* Establishing and maintaining friendships
* Belonging to the group, being accepted
* Gaining communication skills
* Self-knowledge, gaining awareness
* Positive self-perception
* Empathy
* Social approval
* Attachment
During this period, the adolescent gradually breaks away from his family and turns to friends who think like himself and can understand him. While experiencing the friendship and opposite-sex friendship process, he starts to gain the above-mentioned gains….
What Characteristics Are Observed in Emotional and Social Development?
* Independence, establishing autonomy. Desire to rebel against society, especially adults
* Having status
* Taking risks, secrecy, living the extremes, emulating the forbidden
* Resting
* Extreme sensitivity and irritability
* Angry behavior, irritability, stubbornness, impatience
* Indifference, disregard, disorganization, forgetfulness
* Feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, indecision, restlessness
* Daydreaming, daydreaming
* Slang speech
* Diversity in interests
* If the young person is constantly criticized and judged by his parents, teachers and other adults in his close circle, his belief that he is not “understood” gets reinforced and moves away from them.
* He turns to the closest group with which he can find understanding and tolerance and feels close
End of adolescence
In this period of late adolescence, adolescents can be expected to display these behaviors by completing their developmental tasks.
* Increase in balance
* Ways to meet problems
* Decrease in adult interventions
* Increase in emotional calmness
* Increase in realism
* Desire to gain a responsible behavior towards society and reaching it
* Accepting one’s own physical structure, male or female sexual role, developing behavior suitable for this role
* Being emotionally disconnected from parents and other adults
* Choosing a profession
* Gaining necessary knowledge and skills to be a social adult individual
* Gaining emotional independence and ability to make important decisions about himself/herself
BEING A PARENT.”
Parent-adolescent conflict
Adolescence, which is characterized by the concepts of “storm and stress”, is considered as a period of inevitable emotional conflict and contradictions. Gaining independence is emotional independence from home and family. The sentence “You treat me like a little child” is a common complaint from adolescents.
Conflicts and tensions inevitably occur as the youth strives to seize power and the parent not to lose control. Attempts by adolescents to become independent may cause distress (stress) and cause sadness to the family.
However, independence is one of the important competencies to be acquired during adolescence. It is necessary for the young person to be able to continue his life as an adult, to acquire the necessary life skills and to realize himself. It is normal for parents and adolescents to experience difficulties in this period, which is bumpy and has ups and downs in terms of emotions, thoughts and behaviors. This should not be an alarm for families.
Family is the most basic and reliable source, even though it is under the influence of the young social circle’s friend groups during adolescence. At the end of this process, parental attitudes are important for the young person to become a healthy adult who can stand on his own feet.
OPPRESSIVE ATTITUDE
Parents force the child to do whatever they want by using force.
Repressive attitude methods:
* Overprotection
* Controlling
* Constant advice
* Shouting
* Threatening
* Withholding love
* Punishment
Repressive attitudes can lead to feelings such as fear, avoidance, irresponsibility and selfishness in adolescents.
AVIZKAR ATTITUDE
The child wants to force what he wants by using force on the parents.
The methods children use:
* Attachment
* Emotional exploitation
* Blackmail
* Parents become helpless and submit to the child’s wishes.
Compromising attitude can also lead to behaviors such as selfishness, irresponsibility and dissatisfaction in adolescents.
INFLUENCED ATTITUDE
Parents ignore the child’s interests and needs and do not pay enough attention to their needs.
Irrelevant attitude methods:
* Parents do not establish sufficient and quality communication with the child.
* He hardly uses any method while raising the child.
COMPETENT ATTITUDE
Among these attitudes, the most healthy one is competent attitude. Parents raise the child by using positive and appropriate communication and discipline methods.
Competent attitude methods:
* Parents and children do not use power over each other.
* They are not indifferent to each other’s wishes and needs.
* Parents use their power to strengthen and support the child.
* The feelings and thoughts of everyone in the family are listened to.
* The child is considered to be an individual.
* Trust that the child can take responsibility.
* The child learns to solve problems.
* He trusts himself and his environment.
* Parents protect the child by setting appropriate limits for the child.
* Increases the child’s self-confidence by giving confidence and support.
Communication with Adolescents
* Communication is the process of mutual information production, transfer and interpretation.
* It is a prerequisite to keep communication in the parent-adolescent relationship during adolescence.
FOR A GOOD COMMUNICATION…..
Listen actively:
* Listen carefully, show that you are listening. In this way, he will feel important and will experience the feeling of being accepted.
* Try to empathize.
* Express the problem in clear and concise sentences, do not tell him what to do.
* Prefer short speeches over long speeches.
* Do not focus on other things while listening, make eye contact.
The importance of active listening in communication:
* It provides the acceptance of the negative feelings of the adolescent.
* Helps adolescents to express their feelings.
* It provides a warm relationship between adult and adolescent.
* Provides resolution of problems.
* Helps adolescents to value their parents’ opinions.
* It helps the adolescent to provide individual awareness.
HOW CAN FAMILIES SUPPORT ADOLESCENT?
In order for their children to make a healthy transition to adulthood, some points that families should pay attention to are important:
* Providing children with a home environment full of love and trust,
* Giving children independence and freedoms appropriate for their age,
* Creating opportunities for children to trust themselves,
* Being an example and guide for the behaviors desired to be gained,
* Giving the child an understanding of discipline by informing them about their limits and freedoms,
* Teaching children about the characteristics of adolescence period informing,
* Starting preparations early is the best way for families to prepare their children and themselves for adolescence.
THE MOST EFFECTIVE HELP THAT CAN BE GIVEN TO AGENCY IN THIS PERIOD…….
It is to make him realize that he is loved, understood, accepted, noticed, necessary, important, that he is given independence and responsibility.
