AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS
Aggression is the expression of the violent impulse that has been with us since birth. Every human carries the potentially aggressive urge.
While adults can evacuate their aggression by transforming it into other areas, children export it raw because they cannot transform the uncomfortable emotion.
Since the verbal capacity of children is not enough to express themselves through language, they go through periods when they show behaviors such as biting and hitting.
In fact, these behaviors are indicative of internal tension.
REASONS
Arguments and fights with the parent’s environment
-Parent’s aggressive attitudes towards the child and the environment
Not allowing the child’s current energy to be discharged.
-Constant criticism, contempt and scolding
-Penalment Methods
-Indifference
– Unconditional love is not felt to the child
SUGGESTIONS
1) First you have to give feedback that you understand it: “I know you are very angry right now. Because you want to play with that toy.
It is very important to use expressions such as “I understand you, you are very angry” and express that you understand him first.
2) Directly preventive interventions such as ‘don’t do it, quit’ will not be a solution and will cause the behavior to be repeated because the reason is not explained.
3) Before directly intervening in the child’s aggressive behavior, it should be explained what harming someone else can cause, what to do instead of harming them, and why they should not do these behaviors.
4) It is important that your sentences are simple, short and suitable for his/her age, mental and verbal capacity in a way he/she can understand.
5) you need to help him transform the aggressive behavior instead of stopping it. By offering options such as “you can pull this” instead of saying “don’t pull, don’t hit”, you direct the mental tension in the child to another object that will not be harmed, and this allows the aggressive energy to be thrown out instead of being suppressed.
6) Be consistent and determined. Sometimes you approach the behavior to which you react, sometimes laughing and accepting, this creates confusion in the child and the lack of boundaries gives the impression that the boundaries are flexible. Boundaries that are flexible have to be pushed.
7) Avoid behavioral punishment methods. Physical punishment or depriving a child of what they want may make you think that you have solved the problem at that moment, but it will cause it to happen again at another moment.
8) Face the consequences of their misbehavior. In other words, if he knows that it is wrong to spill the water on the ground, but he does it together, instead of being told to clean the spill, it means that you face the consequences and this can be a deterrent for the next wrong action.
9) Produce activities where he can discharge his inner tension and negative energy. Children’s anxiety level is reduced by movement and by putting their energy into another action. Decreased anxiety level shows improvement in behavior.
10) Maintain a line of respect when criticizing your child. If the other person is your child or is too young to defend himself, “I’m sick of you. You are always like this. It is enough.” It is not a reason for you to approach him with derogatory sentences such as
11) Show your care and love by making frequent contact with him, telling him how valuable you are to him, and behaviorally showing him.
12) Remember that it’s not just about caring for the child from a child’s point of view to provide basic care or personal hygiene and raising him. What they need is to know that they are loved unconditionally by you.
