Emphasizing the importance of raising awareness and informing children in the prevention of sexual abuse, experts point out that the child must be listened to very carefully. Stating that children express their emotions with their actions and inactions, their silence, behavior and facial expressions, experts emphasize that these messages should be read correctly.
Noting that the child’s saying “no” should be respected regarding physical contact, the experts said, “When physical contact is insistent, children do not have control over their own bodies; “They may feel that family members and other adults have the right to touch them whenever and however they want,” she warns.
Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center Psychiatrist Dr. Faculty Member Dilek Sarıkaya made suggestions to families as part of the 4 March World Day for the Fight Against Sexual Abuse.
Sexual abuse is a type of sexual violence
Defining sexual abuse as “the sexual exploitation of the child by a person who is responsible for his/her age and level of development and with whom he/she has a relationship of trust or power”, Dr. Dilek Sarıkaya said that sexual abuse is a type of sexual violence.
Saying that the person who sexually abuses the child commits the act of violence by abusing the child’s physical, emotional, cognitive and experiential weakness, Dr. Dilek Sarıkaya said, “Sexual abuse does not only include behaviors that involve physical contact with the child’s body or genitals. Sexual abuse can take many different forms, with and without contact. For this reason, it is important to know the non-contact forms of sexual abuse and that these behaviors are harmful to children’s mental health.
Children don’t shut up, they tell
Dr. Dilek Sarıkaya emphasized that the goal in preventing sexual abuse should be to tell adults not to abuse children before teaching children to protect themselves, and said:
“Adults really protect children when they always and everywhere consider the best interests of the child, create an environment where children can express themselves, check whether children are in any situation where they can be harmed, and consider the views of children in the decision-making process. Contrary to popular belief, children do not shut up, they tell. Children express their feelings through their actions and inactions, their silence, their behavior and facial expressions, through creative tools such as games, pictures, songs and dramas. It is the responsibility of adults to provide all these tools to the child, to create a safe space and communication channels, and to be a good observer. When we see and listen to children as individuals and respect their choices; We will prevent them from being silent and give them the right to speak.”
What should be done in the family about combating sexual abuse?
Dr. Dilek Sarıkaya made the following suggestions for families to prevent sexual abuse:
– Listen carefully to whatever children tell in the family: The most basic element that will support children’s feeling as individuals and strengthen their self-confidence is to see that their existence and what they say are cared for. When listening to children, it is important to be at a level where they can make eye contact. They should be thanked for sharing their feelings. If children’s questions are glossed over and what they say is not heard; They will have difficulty talking to family members about negative experiences they may have and asking for support.
– Do not insist on physical contact in the family: Children do not have control over their own bodies when their “no” is not heard and physical contact is insisted on; They may feel that family members and other adults have the right to touch them whenever and however they want.
Family members make promises to children in return for kissing or hugging, and when they do not do this, they cut off interest and communication and become offended; it gives them the message that pleasing others is more important than their own satisfaction. This situation causes children to put their own needs and wishes in the background and makes it difficult for them to establish their personal boundaries. These messages can make children more vulnerable to abuse and unwanted behavior from adults. Children should be given the choice to kiss or hug others. So they know they have control over their bodies and learn that other people must respect those decisions. Thus, they may notice a disrespectful or abusive behavior directed at their bodies by an adult, they know that this is not true, and they can express themselves better about it.
– Don’t say that sexual abuse doesn’t happen around me: Abuse can happen in every segment of society, regardless of socioeconomic status, ethnicity, education level, status, age and place of residence. We want to believe that abuse will not happen in our environment; but in reality abuse can also take place in our environment.
– Do not think that if we report abuse, we will destroy the future of the child, it is a child, he will forget it anyway: We want to believe that the event is unimportant and that the child will easily forget it anyway. However, as a result of unreported incidents of abuse, abusive adults continue to harm other children. On the other hand, it should not be forgotten that the family’s silence on this issue, despite the child’s expression of abuse, may cause the child’s sense of trust and justice to be shaken and mental problems that may continue in adult life. Abuse is the fault of the perpetrator, not the child, and it is our responsibility as adults to report it. Breaking the silence is the first step to protect children and ensure they can have a happy and productive life.
Source: (BHA) – Beyaz News Agency
