Children who don’t grow – like plants that don’t grow like “Bonsai”? That’s exactly what it is.. This is the case with humans too..
The human being, born as a baby, goes through all the development processes and goes towards adulthood and, if it can reach, old age.
In infancy, it has to live dependent on the mother or an adult. All their needs must be met by someone. Survival is the most important motive. The body is programmed that way. In fact, experiencing the feeling of fear is nothing but an effort to survive.
Nutrition is one of the most important factors for living things. Living things become intertwined with nutrition programs when they are born, and they start a life in the way of benefiting from it.
In terms of psychomotor development, the baby, who cannot raise his head when he is born, starts to turn from where he is in a few months, to sit at 5-6 months, to crawl at 8-9 months, to walk at 11-12 months. Running comes after walking and shows a level of development that will make adults run after it. Children can use their large muscles very effectively in playgrounds. He can ride a bike, climb
Cognitively, the baby, who recognizes his mother at the age of 2 months, reaches a cognitive level that can perceive his environment very well within a few months. He can make up his mind on many issues as he goes, he can pass the events through the filter of logic.
In terms of language development, the baby, who starts babbling and gurgling within a few months, starts to say words such as mother, father, food towards his age, and when he reaches 24 months he starts to form double-word sentences.
Becomes able to feel emotional pleasure, emotion and sadness.
While all these developments continue, the mother is doing her best to raise her baby healthily. How much did it grow each day? Oh, don’t get sick, everything is hygienic, is he getting enough nutrition? Are their vaccines okay? He’s getting very sick, is he allergic? Why is she crying? Earache? Abdominal pain? Do you have gas? Is it hurting? Does it show proper development for the month? Is he running late? His fever has risen, will he have convulsions? Why is he coughing? Did you have diarrhea? Is he constipated? Why is his poop that color? And like this, many questions come to the minds of mothers and every day more and more they pass the infancy period.
I can’t get into the toilet habit later, he doesn’t play with his friends, he doesn’t share his toys, he is jealous of his sibling, my child has no appetite, he chooses food, does not eat solid foods,
Does he not study his lessons? How can I get my homework done? I should not fail the exams, I am worried about the choice of friends, questions and thoughts such as smoking, alcohol, drug habits, choosing a spouse, choosing a career occupy the minds of parents. What needs to be done is being done, the situations to be supported are not ignored.
But there is a danger waiting here.
When children, adolescents, or even teenagers are young, parents still continue their ministry. He cannot face the fact that his children have grown up or he continues to run around in the chaos of life.
Still, the young person who has a job continues to prepare his breakfast as a duty, tidying his room, tidying up his socks, removing the nail polish and acetone he left in the middle, emptying his wardrobe by asking “what should I wear today?” on the way to work. making arrangements, or even trying to wake up the young person who can’t wake up to go to work because he goes to bed late…
Maybe it’s not a problem, if only from time to time; however, it is the duty of the parents and the health of adults who have reached a certain age is not considered at all, even I wonder what I can do for them? Or how can I support them? The thought may not even cross the minds of young people.
From now on, an order has been established, RECEPTION is always customary, it is not obvious that the young person’s connection with life is only education, by saying that as long as he can read. High school ends, university is won, academic career etc. Then, until the age of 30, the services of the parents continue.
Young people choose to live individually by prolonging their education period, without any participation in the name of responsibility. How can I complete my education in the fastest way, undergraduate-graduate etc. without worry. an academic career can last for years. The support of the family continues in all matters. They even open a separate house, but their parents do the bills, cleaning, maintenance and shopping of the house. Even in the same house, in a separate room, but all needs are met by the family and life continues.
Or even if he’s a grown man, he still doesn’t keep his parents’ word. He implements everything he is told without filtering right or wrong. In this way, he begins to have problems with the family he has established, and he displays attitudes that will not be accepted by his wife.
These people may also avoid getting married in order not to take responsibility. Individualization needs to be reconsidered in terms of the importance of the family institution and the preparation of children for the future in a well-established environment. Individuality is important.. However, if we exist in a social life, it is necessary to take responsibility for the society. The first step of social responsibilities is to fulfill one’s own responsibilities.
To start life late and always with the support of someone. You are standing… a situation that needs to be thought about.. These are also people who have gotten old and deserved to rest and take care of their hobbies.. Parents..
Parents reviewing themselves, their children are grown now, they can do their own business. They have to believe they can succeed.
Such young girls may not be sufficiently conscious of being a mother when they get married and have children. Motherhood requires effort, it requires being intimate with her child. In our country, the adults who were not close enough in childhood can see their children as their small children when they reach the age of 30s and 40s and maintain their support attitude even in their self-care skills.
It is more common in young men. If young men get married, they are not mature enough as a family. They want to maintain the behavior of being independent. The behavior of being independent is not related to the family to which it is rooted, but is their attitude towards their spouse.
Especially if they have children, the young father will continue to prioritize his individual wishes. He will not be conscious of the fact that he is married and has children, and he will not be able to fully feel the responsibility.
Grandparents will take their grandchildren under their wing, and will also wholeheartedly protect the offspring of their children, whom they have not raised. The feeling of being a father becomes stronger as the relationship with his child is established and some of his needs are met. Of course, the father must believe that he really wants it and must know about child development. In addition, they must have completed their own psychological and personality development.
In this way, children -grandchildren- can not see their real parents as active on them, they even call them by their names and know and feel grandparents as “mother” and “father”.
There is a confusion here, and after a while, young parents are uncomfortable with this situation, they say that they do not receive enough attention and love from their children, and they begin to question their parents.
Let our children not be BONSAİ, let them GREAT..
ÖZNUR SIMAV-pedagogue
