A sense of trust is very important not only for children but also for us adults. We also want to trust and be sure of our spouse, friend, parents.
The feeling of trust is just as important in children. Moreover, the feeling of trust in children is an important and sensitive feeling that emerges at birth and continues for many years.
A newborn baby seeks answers to two questions as it comes out of the mother’s womb. “Am I safe here” and “Do they love me”. Confidence is very important, especially for a newborn baby. Because he came from a sheltered place like his mother’s womb and spent both comfortable and safe times there. But as he opens his eyes to the world, we constantly do things that disturb him and put his safety at risk.
For example, we force it to absorb, we dress it so that it does not get cold, we shake it to sleep, we tie a cloth under it. We have to do these, yes, but since the baby was not exposed to any of these for 9 months in the womb, these things seem strange to him and he thinks that he is not safe. This feeling of insecurity is one of the reasons why he had sleep and feeding problems in the first days.
For this reason, the newborn baby should be talked to at every stage and everything done to him should be explained. Statements such as “I’m going to change the diaper now, it’s time for dinner, let’s drink some milk, are we sleepy, let’s go to sleep” will reinforce the feeling of trust in the baby.
As the baby grows, the sense of trust becomes more sensitive in other matters. Many trust-themed issues have entered the child’s life now, such as will my parents come back when they go to work, will they pick me up from my grandmother, whether I will go to nursery school and stay here in the evenings.
One of the most important issues regarding trust is the fulfillment of promises given to the child. If the promises given to the child such as “I will buy you a toy, let your father come, we will go for a walk” are not fulfilled, the child will develop distrust towards his parents.
Parents should not make promises to their children that they cannot deliver. Sometimes, the child, who does not forget the empty promises made in order to make the child stop asking him, gets angry with his parents and exhibits behavioral problems when these promises are not fulfilled.
Consistency between parents is also very important for children’s sense of trust. The child, who receives a different answer from his mother other than his father for the question he asks, gets confused and may have a conflict about who will believe what he says or how to ask questions to whom from now on.
A general distrust may begin in the child who cannot even trust his parents. The child, who cannot trust his friends and teachers, may adopt a suspicious attitude and distance himself from those around him.
For this reason, we should avoid trust-shattering behaviors in order to save children from this basic trust-insecurity conflict from the first moment they open their eyes to the world.
