Many parents tend to do anything for their children. The pressure they put on themselves by saying it must be the fittest often leads to major family issues. With the spread of the understanding of perfect motherhood and fatherhood in social media, the need to be a perfect parent has also become widespread. So how do you become a perfectionist parent? What is the effect of the perfectionist parent on the children?
Family is one of the biggest factors that shape a child’s success, satisfaction and next life. Every mother and father wants their child to grow up in the most adequate conditions, but for the perfectionist parent, everything should be perfectly perfect. While trying to encourage success and discipline, they inject themselves with a sense of worry, while they are able to seek success on children outside and attribute themselves to a sense of worthlessness when they are not successful. According to the statements made by experts, it was stated that while perfectionist parents want to take steps for their children to be more successful, they put the children in a reasonable mold and in case the child does not want that mold, they feel shame against the family, harbor anger and hatred, and start to keep secrets.
HOW TO BE A EXCELLENT PARENT?
Many parent models maintain their perfectionist approach in their daily lives, even towards themselves. They want to be successful in everything, because they expect the child they raised to be successful as they are. Because the underlying reason is that the child he gave birth to and raised himself will not be able to bear the failure himself. It has been seen that this human model, who never feels “good” properly, also damages family bonds and ties due to the pressure placed on the child.
Another perfectionist parent type is that success and discipline life that he cannot be himself but wants his child to have. These mother and father types do not expect the best from themselves, but from their children. While they think that the standards they set will lead to excellence, eventually this need for excellence backfires.
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE A PERFECTIONAL PARENT
- (9800970) (a lot of criticism (980097007)) ) Blaming yourself when your child is not successful
- Looking at other parents and seeing yourself as inadequate
- Feeling wrong for not being able to do more even though you have already done a lot for your children
- Always criticizing and reconsidering your own parenting choices
- Losing your cool often because your expectations are too high
SIGNS THAT YOU EXPECT THE CHILD TO BE COMPLETE
- When the child cannot do the work that interests him, it is difficult to follow interfering
- Managing the child too much
- Putting pressure on the child for a perfect job
- Criticizing rather than praising the child
- Forcing the child to make your dreams come true without being asked
- Seeing the child’s success as your own success
- Making a “as if he saved the world” look and comment on the activities that the child loves
WHAT IS THE EFFECT OF EXCELLENT Parenting on Children?
As a result of the researches carried out by the experts, it has been revealed that the child has a perception of inadequacy, being disliked, worrying about being unworthy, and a sense of guilt, together with the pressure and coercion exerted by the perfectionist parents on the children.
Moreover, it can cause many mental problems such as distress disorders, difficulties in coping with tension, social rush, and inability to talk about oneself. For example, he may resort to cheating in his exam to get good grades, believing that his parents value success more than honesty. However, children of all ages should be able to make mistakes without fear of the consequences. These experiences are too expensive for children to learn.
Experts explaining that the feeling of perfectionism applied by the parent passes on to the child, and the child’s mental and psychological problems such as depression, eating-drinking disorder, anxiety over time. He underlined that he also faced health problems.
It has also been seen that the child who had a hard time and was not appreciated completely eliminated the pressure from the job, that is, he gave up briefly.
