Our children are entrusted primarily to their mothers within the family. In daily life, in our country’s conditions and as usual… After giving birth, mothers raise their babies in a way identical to themselves… It’s as if the two are a whole. She tries to be together with him, to understand him, to know his needs, with the effect of his hormones. If she is crying, the best mother will discover why she is crying and what she needs. From the nuance differences in crying, the mother knows whether she is crying because her stomach hurts or if she is crying because she is hungry. It is also the mother who stays awake until the morning while accompanying her baby who does not sleep, while searching for a solution, and who spends several sleepless nights during her illness. In the general understanding of the society, the mother is the person who should take care of her baby first.
Fathers, on the other hand, may be able to help mothers in extraordinary situations. Generally, he is exempt from these works on the grounds that the father is the breadwinner of the household. So it has a privileged place and uses it. Many fathers expect the baby’s voice to be lowered as soon as possible ( ! ) because I will go to work tomorrow, from the mother.
Those whose financial conditions are suitable can go to the solution with the night sitter. In this case, the mother can create a suitable time for rest. Usually the night sitter is under supervision. There are family members at home. For those who work at night and who work with a shift system; If the baby or child is provided with a certain sleep pattern, there may not be many problems. But for babies who don’t sleep at night, it can be a problem when the caregiver makes sacrifices and overpowers their own sleep. Although there are many night jobs, it is not easy to be one-on-one with the baby and understand his cries, find solutions and silence them. The mistakes made may even be in the dimensions of the baby’s life.
In baby care, it is very important to have experienced the patience of motherhood, not to come from a family with psychological problems in their own life, and to have a durable and challenging structure in general physical health. In addition, having a developed conscientiousness, adopting moral value judgments, growing up with these value judgments and absorbing them are issues that need to be focused on sensitively.
Even though baby care is a job done professionally, there is definitely an emotionality in it. It is very different from working with a dead business. The personality traits and character structure of the caregiver are among the features to be considered, and references should be taken from close acquaintances, if possible. The caregiver must be experienced and not be sick etc. situations should be vigilant. First aid knowledge should be preferred. The security measures to be taken at home must be completed, but it is necessary that these security measures are continuous and controls are carried out by the caregiver.
The babysitter should be clean and hygienic, and should apply the necessary cleaning measures inside the baby. He should also pass a health check, be x-rayed and be recruited in this way. The caregiver should not accept guests into the house. He should be doing his job with love and it is one of the most important features. Doing the job with love means doing it with the heart and this means doing the job with the least mistakes. It is very important to be responsible, to come to work on time and to understand the importance of the job.
Night sitter, day care and taking it to the babysitter are issues that require different attention. For babies taken to the caregiver, what is the home environment of the caregiver, which family members are in the house, will the baby be given enough attention, are the people at home in good health, are there any children who are jealous of the baby, is there a family member intolerant of the baby’s sound – this is usually the father. and young adults can be. How are the security measures in the caregiver’s home, no drugs, detergents, etc. in the open. Is there a ladder, falling from the bed, injuries with sharp objects, whether the electrical outlets are closed, iron, stove, electric stove, catalytic, tube stove usage situation should be taken into consideration. Is the use of natural gas at home and the precautions to be taken, is there a gas leak, is the teapot, tea service, hot drinks consumed safely, are there any sharp, stinging and piercing objects in the house, are they in a position to be seized, are buckets filled with water, tubs used? , pesticides etc. Is there… All these details should be considered in relation to our baby’s months and ages. It should be arranged according to the characteristics of children who are crawling, walking, living their most curious and active age.
When the child is unable to express himself, the characteristics of the person to be entrusted and whether they have sexual perversions are very important. Generally, these cases are encountered from people who cannot be expected from the close family circle. These people are the people who are trusted in the family circle and the situation of insecurity is unlikely to come to mind. Sexual abuse is an issue that needs attention and is of vital importance.
Children are usually referred to pre-school institutions when they are in kindergarten age. Meeting the child’s need for friends and providing an environment for socialization has increased the interest in preschool institutions today. As the contributions of these institutions, which are primarily preferred for working mothers, in the development of the child are observed and their benefits are understood, they have almost become compulsory institutions within the possibilities for children. There are many issues to be considered while establishing the bonds of children with these institutions. There are a number of issues to be considered, from transportation to education, nutrition and the strength and reliability of communication with the institution.
In primary education, how much of the day will she spend at school, who will meet her at home, is the mother a working mother? Is there an opportunity to study at the school? Or will another study institution come to the fore? It is necessary to seek answers to all these questions. What is your environment? In rural areas, are adequate security conditions adequately provided? The measures to be taken in urban and metropolitan environments also differ. The child should be in environments where everyone is present at school, and should not be in quiet and secluded sections.
There will be differences in whether the school is a private or a public school. Are the doors and frames intact? Are there any dangerous situations that are overlooked? Are there health personnel such as nurses, doctors, or knowledgeable people who can take first aid measures at the school? Is the required sensitivity shown? all this should be considered specifically.
Are children or young people protected against violence at school? Are adequate awareness raising and necessary precautions and guidance made? Is the environment prepared for energy discharge with activities such as sports and music? Weapons, knives etc. do they carry Are these checked often? Are children and young people made aware? Are those with emotional problems carefully followed and necessary referrals made to specialists?
How is the school’s attitude towards peer bullying? Is it being ignored, are the necessary precautions really taken? Children and young people need to be shown the necessary interest and sincerity. All this is possible in good cooperation with the family. It is important to take into account the individual differences between children and young people and to raise awareness of families about attitudes. Because the education given at school should be with the family so that it is permanent and applied. Not only teaching in schools; importance should be given to education and values, and efforts should be made to bring the child in.
CONCLUSION: We should give due importance to the people and institutions to whom we will entrust our child, and we should not be silent about the emotional problems of our young people, prevent them from harming others and themselves, and should not delay getting help. We must find a solution for everything BEFORE it’s too late.
Pedagogue ÖZNUR SIMAV
Family Counselor-FOUNDER
