The way to give a healthy education to the child is through healthy communication. In the education process, it is of great importance that the parents and the people who help the child exhibit the right behaviors. Although there are rules to be considered in general, it should not be forgotten that especially in some age periods, children can push their parents more.
a) Two-year-old period:
This period also coincides with the time when toilet habit is acquired. Around the age of two, the child begins to gain control over his own body. Movement and self-expression skills develop rapidly. However, the child begins to be more persistent and stubborn on his wishes. He may contradict himself to the point of pushing the limits of his parents’ tolerance, cry unnecessarily, throw things away when they don’t want to, throw himself on the ground. This situation is difficult, but it is also part of normal development. The caregiver needs to be patient, knowing that this process is temporary. Incorrect attitudes such as yelling at the child and using violence will only cause the child to adopt a more negative attitude. In such situations, the most appropriate behavior is to be patient, calm and determined, and wait for the child to calm down.
b) Parent’s attitude:
In addition to the age period of the child, the attitude of the parents in the education of the child and the attitude mistakes they make unconsciously can cause the child to show disobedience. In particular, we see this type of negative behavior more often in children who grew up in a strict discipline or vice versa, too loose discipline, parents’ inability to display a determined and clear attitude, and children who grew up in crowded environments where different messages are given to the child. In addition, the arrival of a sibling to the child may cause the child to become angry and to display compelling, disobedient behaviors to attract attention, even if it is negative, due to the stress it creates in the child.
In order for the child to live in harmony in the society, gain a sense of responsibility and internal control, it is necessary to be brought up in a certain discipline. Children who do not know the rules, do whatever they want and do not listen to their words cannot be happy easily, and they may be excluded by the social environment due to their egocentric attitude in their behavior. For this reason, it is very important for parents to teach their children some social rules and healthy behavior models. One of the most important points here is that parents should not forget that they set an example for their children with their own behavior. Children who are constantly shouting and scolding themselves and each other show the same behaviors to their parents and siblings. Likewise, we should set an example for our children with our behavior so that they can be respectful, hardworking and enterprising. Applying excessively strict discipline can cause the child to display cowardly, angry and angry behaviors.
c) Reward and punishment:
Praising and appreciating the right behavior without being overlooked and not exaggerated makes the child happy and ensures the repetition and reinforcement of positive behavior. Tangible gifts and rewards may also be given, although not often.
Punishment and reward are methods used in the education of children and their effectiveness has been proven. The priority should always be rewarding, and punishment should be applied last. Punishments should never harm the child’s personality or undermine his self-confidence. Penalties would be more appropriate in the form of restricting him from playing computer games, not being allowed to go out for a certain period of time, staying away from a few activities that are important to him and that he enjoys, such as sitting and waiting in his room for a while. While criticizing the child, it is much more correct to focus on the mistake such as “This behavior was wrong” instead of using general expressions such as “You are a naughty child”.
Conclusion:
If we want to raise children who are self-confident, happy and successful in their social relations, we should set an example for them with our behaviors, make them feel that we trust them, appreciate their positive behaviors, pay attention to be tolerant, consistent, clear and determined in our relations with them. we should. A balanced education is very important as an excessively loose and excessively strict discipline will cause behavioral problems in children.
