Expressing that toxic people transfer negative emotions to the other party, Expert Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais points out that these people experience more problems in their relationships. Stating that toxic people may be harmed in relationships, they may think that they are alone and that they should not trust anyone, Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “These people develop a method of not apologizing after what they have been through and making the other party feel some emotions. I call it the mirror of negative emotion. The person is actually transferring the emotions he/she feels to the other party.” said.
Üsküdar University NPİSTANBUL Hospital Specialist Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais evaluated the effects of toxic relationships on psychology and people.
Toxic people can happen in anyone’s life.
Noting that toxic people can be in everyone’s life from time to time, Expert Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “This person can be a relative, a family member, a friend, a lover or a spouse. It can enter our lives for a short time, that is, it can be a colleague or it can be long-term. We actually get to know these people in the process. After a while, we get to know them by the way they make us feel or the way this relationship is.” said. Noting that toxic relationships negatively affect people’s psychology, Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “Toxic means poisonous as you know. What actually poisons us, pulls us down… Why do we establish our social relations? We build social relationships to feel better, to be happier, to be more successful, to encourage and support us, but these people do the opposite.” he said.
How to understand toxic relationship?
Expressing that we can understand whether people and relationships are toxic from the emotions we feel in the relationship we live, Expert Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais, “How do we know these people? First of all, we derive it from the emotions we feel in our relationships. If you think that you experience some negative emotions frequently in your relationship with certain people, that is, if you feel the need to constantly explain, such as helplessness, anger or guilt, we can say that this relationship is actually a toxic one. We may think that the other party is manipulating us in some way, trying to change, control, pull us in certain directions. We can understand from these feelings that we experience.” said.
Toxic people don’t back down
Stating that in healthy relationships, the parties apologize to each other, in toxic relationships, there is no such situation. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “In healthy relationships, people can sometimes misbehave with each other, make mistakes and be hurtful. But then what do we expect, we expect that person to apologize. However, toxic people do not have a reverse gear, so there is no stepping back. They never apologize when they think they have done something wrong, or even if you think so.” he said.
They don’t apologize because they think they will lose their dignity.
Expressing that there may be many reasons why these people do not apologize, Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “This is a problem related to self-confidence in these people. It may seem like a disaster to him. Apologizing means they have the thought, ‘I am wrong, I am wrong, respect for me will be lost, so I should never step back, I have to go all the way’. Of course, we know that such behaviors come from learning, namely childhood learning and family life. These people are not like this for no reason.” said.
They become mirrors of negative emotions.
Expressing that toxic people transfer negative emotions to the other party, Expert Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “These people have more problems in relationships. These people may think that they can suffer more damage in relationships, that they are alone, that they should not trust anyone. The relationship style of these people is actually their outlook on life and their coping methods. These people develop such a method after their experiences. It’s like not apologizing and making the other party feel some feelings… Because he felt it himself at the time. I call it the mirror of negative emotion. The person is actually transferring the feelings he/she feels to the other party.” said.
They are constantly dissatisfied
Noting that a very serious dissatisfaction is expected from these people, Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “These people have a constant state of dissatisfaction. There is criticism, they are constantly angry at something, they are angry at something, they are uncomfortable, they show resentment. You go to a cafe, they argue with the waiter, you go to a movie theater and they complain about the location of the movie theater. There is a constant state of dissatisfaction. In fact, when we look at it, after a while, you buy those feelings, and after a while you realize that you feel these feelings often when you are with him, and you are more critical and more touchy.” he said.
He himself does not know the source of his dissatisfaction.
Noting that he is constantly trying to bring down the person next to toxic people in emotion, Expert Clinical Psychologist Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “Actually, they try to bring you down by drawing you into those feelings. ‘Why do you treat me badly, why did you say such a thing to me, are you angry about something or is there something you are angry with me, is there something you are offended, have I done something wrong to you?’ If you ask him, he cannot explain why he behaved badly. Because people don’t know that either. There is dissatisfaction in the person, but he does not know why this situation arises. ‘I have to be,’ he says. We cannot call these people bad people. We cannot say that this person is evil and trying to do this to me. It just reflects that because they can deal with what they’ve learned in life and the information they’ve gathered.” he said.
The underlying cause may be a personality disorder.
Stating that the underlying cause of the toxic personality is actually a disease, Dr. Aslı Başabak Bhais said, “The underlying cause may be anxiety, a depressive state, personality disorders. Generally, personality disorders are a condition that we see more frequently. Therefore, it is necessary to think that this is a disease, not a good person or a bad person.” said.
Source: (BYZHA) – Beyaz News Agency
