*The name-surname has been changed in terms of client confidentiality and only initials have been written. At the same time, some information that will reveal his identity has been hidden or changed.
Before proceeding to the review, it would be appropriate to define anxiety and anxious personality disorder.
When we look at the literature on anxiety, it is possible to reach many definitions. Roughly speaking, we can call anxiety the unreal fears about the future that we fear to come true. This ‘fear’ can be in many areas. For example, elevator, social environments, some animal species, exam, health etc.
Anxious personality disorder is a state of constant fear. Generalized anxiety disorder is also observed. We live together with individuals with this anxious personality disorder at home, at work, at school, and in our circle of friends. As a result, we are in constant communication.
Individuals with anxious personality disorder constantly have scenarios of tension and catastrophe. This is how they view themselves, other people, and the world. They feel they have to be on the alert all the time. Because they can face a danger at any moment. So much so that over time they get stronger and narrow their living space. They do this by choosing to escape from the primitive fight-flight-freeze reactions that we can give in stressful or dangerous situations as living organisms, and they relax for a short time. Freud called this condition ‘Escape Addiction’. Over time, escape addiction develops and anxiety can be replaced by panic attacks.
In general, individuals with anxious personality disorder may not realize this. Even if they hear things from their surroundings contrary to their own thoughts, they cannot make sense of it or adopt it. The main reason is that adopting new, valid, realistic, rational thinking will require a change. This change, which will first start in his thoughts, will gradually reflect on his life, and this will become a different catastrophizing scenario for them. The reason is that it will leave the usual cautiousness to uncertainties and surprises. These states of uncertainty are located in the area of fear, which is far from their safe haven, and stepping into this area may be a sign of a new state of anxiety in anxious personality disorder, which is normally a stage of development.
There is someone around me who I think has anxious personality disorder. I find it right to write his name by coding, provided that he does not indicate his closeness to me, since his identity remains confidential. N.Ö is female and 51 years old. He spent his childhood and adolescence in a village in the eastern region. There are stories that he tells that he was in constant communication with children and elders during his childhood. In the following years, they had to migrate from the village to the Metropolitan and settled in Adana. Soon after, she gets married and states that she was subjected to some pressure by her husband and bowed down.
When we look at some of N.Ö’s expressions and the way she raises her children, it is possible to see anxiety; – Bad things can happen to us – We will sleep on the street – Let people not talk, let’s not break up – Our house will be demolished (Slight shaking as a result of passing cars, trucks) etc.
N.Ö wanted them to be cautious while raising their children. He stated that they should always stay away from conflict, fight, mischief and speaking against their neighbors, against their friends at school, and against their playmates on the street. This situation is reflected in their children who want to live their childhood, and children, like their mothers, have begun to distance themselves from people. It has been observed that children do not raise their voices when they are wronged in some games and in daily life. Because children are also concerned about a parent support point. The main reason for this is N.Ö.’s expression ‘Don’t let people talk, let’s not break up’, it is learned years after the children’s statements.
N.Ö, after every argument in the house, turned to his children and used expressions such as “I’m standing for you in this house, otherwise we will sleep on the streets, we will not have a home”. This shows that N.Ö. assumed the role of victim. In particular, there is a victim role to his own anxieties.
N.Ö also shows his anxiety in cases of illness. He can make comments such as loss of organ or limb with the mistake of thinking to enlarge the situation of a minor discomfort. Although he expresses these feelings from time to time, he often experiences his feelings within himself and thinks ‘People should not be disturbed’. Over the years, this situation has revealed the reflection of emotions to the body, which we call somatic symptoms. In fact, we can understand that in cases of discomfort such as back pain, pain in the arm, headache, heartache, N.Ö.’s doctors do not follow a treatment method other than physical therapy and refer them to a psychiatrist.
This is how I can talk about N.O. and anxious personality disorder in general terms. Maybe there are thoughts, feelings, behaviors, expressions to be said or analyzed, but that’s all I could observe from the outside.
In addition, I would like to express that; I was also an individual with anxious personality disorder for over 10 years, and the funny thing was that I hadn’t noticed this and rejected these discourses from around me. Frankly, maybe not for now, but a few years ago I would have given N.O. so much credit that I could even gather evidence to support his thoughts. In other words, it is such a disorder that it feels like he has to live his life in a pinch. The expression “must” may be wrong, but for individuals with anxious personality disorder who experience a state of great resistance, this expression will be commonplace.
In summary, anxiety is such a useful feeling that it motivates for goals, triggers for success, says come on for life; when it is at an optimal level of course.
