QUALITY OF LIFE FOR PROFESSIONS
With the start of daily work, we all find ourselves in a fast pace. We are always focused on the better, the next step or the catching up of daily tasks. For the beginning, we determine the sources of motivation according to ourselves. We start off by saying “Let’s see” with an inner power that starts our actions and behaviors. From time to time, we end the day with the satisfaction of getting all the work done. . From time to time, jobs that do not catch up during the day change shape as a major stress factor for us. Our inner strength, which is the source of motivation, is transferred to the next day according to these satisfaction and stress factors. Satisfaction and stress factors change our mental arrangements over time. When we display an attitude that is too satisfying, the source that brings us into existence and nourishes us is the work that we focus on completing. When we go on with the next days with stress factors, we lose our own selves and make room for the destruction within us. As far as I have observed, this cycle can continue indefinitely as long as it is not broken.
Engineers, health sector workers, housewives, entrepreneurs, educators, beauticians and unlimited professional groups serving in life… We have to find an adjective for ourselves in order to exist and sustain our lives. Without realizing it, we become so integrated with the adjective that it precedes our selves. The engineer sleeps in hopes of executing his project. The housewife ends the day with the hope of cleaning the house and pleasing the guests. The lawyer contemplates scenarios about the next day’s hearing. He reflects the plans of each professional group member about the next day to his life, before their sleep and sometimes even in their dreams. When he wakes up the next day, instead of enjoying the moment for breakfast, he sets out to catch up with a quick breakfast. He completes his work with a serious tempo and effort during the day or some of his works do not go as he wishes. At the end of the day, the same scenario repeats. In this way, he begins to be unable to see himself, his family, pets and even his life. He postpones the importance of the days, himself and his loved ones, with an attitude with a reduced level of tolerance towards everything and an approach with the content of “I’m already tired”.
So how much do we protect our human dimension and allocate space for ourselves in this cycle?
Even when you read the script, the anxiety and despair of “I’m late” or “This order doesn’t change” may fill your mind. Of course, it is not possible to exist in the flow of life without adjectives. In a disorderly life without keeping up with the flow, the level of satisfaction will decrease due to the decrease in conditions. Such a situation does not exist in the reality scene. So, what would our life be like if we used adjectives in this mess and didn’t get so caught up in the flow? If professional groups had allocated a space for themselves as soon as they completed their work, what kind of field would this be?
Spending time with your family or loved ones, which is one of the classic space allocation options, may come to your mind as a solution. It can also be an effective solution. However, as a result of my observations, the level of intolerance added by the necessity of this field has a similar effect with the level of intolerance of professional running. Instead, I can easily identify the need for individualization. Our family and loved ones are very sacred. However, as long as we do not bless ourselves, we can harm them as well and cause space violations. Instead, self-compassion studies and just allocating an individual space can positively trigger our inner strength that we have developed in life. When I give feedback on this, the most common answer I get is “How can I allocate space for myself among so many things, everyone expects something from me.” is happening.
In fact, as always, we look at allocating space as the possibility of doing great things. For example, going to the gym is usually doing something big. You’ll have to take your time. The children are waiting for me at home, the boss wants things to be done, I have to explain the exam results of the students, I have to check if everything is going well at work… I don’t have time for sports. Okay, let’s not waste time on sports. What about a half-hour coffee break? That’s it. So why can’t we accept this as allocating a space?
Because with the effects of our professional deformation, which we have experienced and forced ourselves to, we think about business even while drinking coffee. We can add many life factors into coffee to poison ourselves even about an area that we can possibly identify. Experiencing staying in the moment by taking a small step, such as feeling the soft or hard consistency of coffee in our mouth and being aware of it, can be the solution to many problems. When you stay in the moment, you can take the workload off your shoulders, even for half an hour. You may notice the taste your body feels. Your body and mind can feel as one. In this way, with the increase in the level of healthy satisfaction given by staying in the moment, the release of the hormone dopamine, which is responsible for the sense of pleasure in the brain, will increase. Therefore, the body and mind will develop a strong awareness that good things can happen in running.
It’s easy to write and easy to apply to life often. But even if you try to develop self-compassion with the joy of taking time off, life may not always work that way. “I did, it didn’t work.” you may encounter the result. You can generalize this situation and say, “I have no other choice” and determine more work as the center of your life. At this point, we can take as reference what our dear teacher Doğan Cüceloğlu wrote. “The world will not stop and let you go because you are sad.” ¹ If we wait for the world to give way to us with the sadness of experiencing the wrong experience of space separation, we will be waiting at the wrong stop. Instead, you can get professional support from a mental health professional to accompany you in discovering resources that you may not be aware of. Maybe your inner strength is much more than coffee. We don’t know until we discover it.
BEYZANUR CEYHAN
PSYCHOLOGIST & FAMILY COUNSELOR
¹ Cüceloğlu, D. (2008). Think carefully, make the right decision: Interviews with Yakup Bey on authentic life. 50th Edition. Istanbul: Remzi Bookstore.
